Merry Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

What do you call someone who would do anything for a chocolate snack cake?

A ho ho ho. (merry xmas!)

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

What did Pippin Took do when he was drunk?

He began to feel Merry.

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas ?

A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year" !

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

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Gang Jokes More Gang Jokes

What do you call the act of press-ganging someone into a monastery?

Force of habit.

What's the difference between a fraternity and a gang?

Gangs don't have to pay for friends.

Holiday Jokes More Holiday Jokes

What is the most said band name during the holidays?

U2

What does a racist decorate in their home for the holidays?

Their bigotry.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

Why do Mexicans hate cooking pasta?

When they boil the water, they always have to add that *pinche* salt.

What do you call a place where Mexicans go to the bathroom?

A deport-a-potty.

Happy People Jokes More Happy People Jokes

Where do the happy people of Baltimore live?

In a merry land.

Why do feminists always seem so unhappy?

Because happy people usually leave cults.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why does the Navy put Marines on board ships?

A. "Because sheep would be too obvious"

What time zone are you in when you find a sheep stuck in a fence?

Mountin' time

Greet Jokes More Greet Jokes

How do you greet an overweight Micronesian when you're trying to sound cool?

Microsoft Word.

How does gravity greet itself?

It just waves

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

What would you call an Arab who owns a harem of cows?

A: A milk sheik!

What does a cow do after a break up?

Mooves on.

Con Jokes More Con Jokes

Who's there ! Con ! Con who?

Con unhinged !

What is the opposite of pro?

Con. What is the opposite of progress Congress.