Merry Jokes

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What do you call someone who would do *anything* for a chocolate snack cake?

A ho ho ho. (merry xmas!)

What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

What does Santa say when he meets your wife, your sister and your mother?

HO HO HO, Merry Christmas!

What did Pippin Took do when he was drunk?

He began to feel Merry.

What is another name for Santa's elves?

Subordinate Clauses! Merry Christmas everyone.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas ?

A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year" !

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do frogs say?

Times fun when you're having flies

How do you start a Mexican bedtime story?

Juans upon a time.

Happy People Jokes More Happy People Jokes

Why do happy people like to sleep in late?

Because they aren't mourning people. I just made this up!! Could you all help me with the wording? It feels like it could be a little better I just don't know how to word it differently while using the same "mourning" pun as the punch line.

Where do the happy people of Baltimore live?

In a merry land.

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Why was Jared Fogle upset?

Because he was sentenced to over 15 years in prison.

What did you say?

Me: Judge Did you just reverse my sentence *Stage dives into cheering jury*

People Jokes More People Jokes

What are people afraid of puns called?

Homophonic I'm sorry...

What were people doing during the last ice age?

Chillin.

December 25th Jokes More December 25th Jokes

What does a gang say on December 25th?

Merry Crips-mas

What did the strawberry say on December 25th?

Berry Christmas!

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

What do werewolves put at the bottom of their e-mails?

Beast wishes.

Whats your first wish?

Dave: I wish I was rich. Genie: Granted, what's your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.

Moo Hoo Jokes More Moo Hoo Jokes

What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?

A tail pail!

What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner?

Cow chow!

Ewe Jokes More Ewe Jokes

What's the difference between Mic Jagger and a Scotsman?

Mic Jagger says "Hey you, get off of my cloud". A Scotsman says "Hey, McLeod! Get off of my ewe!"

Why would somebody punch a sheep?

Ewe wouldn't understand.