Million Dollar Jokes

What is a small loan of money?

a small loan of a million dollars"

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How do you turn a little boy into a little girl?

With a small loan of a million dollars.

How does a racist joke start?

A small loan of a million dollars.

Why did the rich man go crazy?

He had one-million dollars, but no cents.

What's the quickest way to make nine million dollars?

Date Simon Cowell.

What's the difference between a million dollar car and a pile of dead babies?

There's no million dollar car in my garage.

What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

How does a musician make a million dollars?

They start with 2 million.

Who makes a million dollars a day?

Someone who works in a mint.

What's the easiest way to make a million dollars?

Invest a billion.

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What did the musician say when he went back in time?

I'll be Bach.

What do you call those people who follow musicians around and try to hang with them after the show?

Drummers.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you turn regular water into holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

What do you mean ?

Well she turned up the Minster turned up but the groom didn't !

50 Cent Jokes More 50 Cent Jokes

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for mother's day?

G u knit

What’s 50 Cent’s name in Zimbabwe?

200 Dollars.

Quick Way Jokes More Quick Way Jokes

What's the quickest way to make nine million dollars?

Date Simon Cowell.

What is the quickest way to double your money ?

Fold it in half !

Easy Way Jokes More Easy Way Jokes

What's the easiest way to annoy an anti-vaxxer?

Needle them

What is the easiest way for a stressed astronaut to unwind and decompress?

By opening the door.

Penny Jokes More Penny Jokes

What do you call a penny with Jesus on it?

J.C. Penny

What do Stephan Harper and pennies have in common?

They're both useless in Canada.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Why is food better than men?

Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

Who is the coolest guy in the Hospital?

A. The Ultra Sound guy. Q. Who is the second coolest? A. The Hip replacement dude.

Pile Jokes More Pile Jokes

What do you call a pile of dogs?

A ruff terrain.

How many babies does it take to make light?

99, 98 get in a pile while 1 grabs a match and lighter fluid.