Penny Jokes

Who's There?

Interrupting the whos there) Penny!

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Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

What did the penny say to the other penny?

Let's get together and make some cents.

What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada?

Penny ...

What do Stephan Harper and pennies have in common?

They're both useless in Canada.

How do you find the fastest man in Africa?

Roll a penny down a hill.

Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

How do you get half of Mexico to jump off a cliff?

Throw a penny off. How do you get the other half to jump too? ... Tell them no one found it yet.

Whats the easiest way to drown a blonde?

Glue a penny to the bottom of a swimming pool ALTERNATE ENDING: Put a scratch n' sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny?

Canadians became *penniless*

How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day?

Like what if you find a penny

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Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

What do you call a penny with Jesus on it?

J.C. Penny

Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies?

Because this docent makes any cents.

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

A penny.

What did Sheldon say to Penny?

BaZINCa!!

Why did she get entry to the pub without paying a single penny?

Cause she being she, wasn't even worth a penny. (/hehheh)

Why is a cat like a penny?

Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.

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Mexico Jokes More Mexico Jokes

What borders stupidity?

Canada and Mexico.

What do they call pita bread in Mexico?

Pita pan

J.C. Penny Jokes More J.C. Penny Jokes

What do you call a penny with Jesus on it?

J.C. Penny

What does Michael Jackson and j.c. penny have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you get a blonde to marry you?

Tell her she's pregnant.

What kind of jokes does a mute clown tell?

Dumb ones!

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickle?

Because it had more cents

Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

Interrupt Jokes More Interrupt Jokes

Who's There?

Interrupting the whos there) Penny!

Who him?

Oh that's just jimmy, I pay him to follow me around and inter- *saxophone solo* INTERRUPT MY SENTENCES WITH SAXOPHONE SOLOS.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

What can I bring to your party?

Friend: A six pack. does 10 crunches cancels

Why was Yoda afraid of 9?

Because 10 9 8

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

Why is Microsoft coming out with a windows 10 instead of 9?

Because 7 8 9

What do you get when you sit on a potato?

A potato wedge! (I made this up when I was 9)

Reason Jokes More Reason Jokes

What's the difference between an Israeli terrorist and a woman with PMS?

You can reason with the terrorist!

What's your favorite pirate joke?

Friend has an eyepatch on for some reason or another and I'm running out of decent jokes.