Penny Jokes

Who's There?

Interrupting the whos there) Penny!

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Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

What did the penny say to the other penny?

Let's get together and make some cents.

What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada?

Penny ...

What do Stephan Harper and pennies have in common?

They're both useless in Canada.

How do you find the fastest man in Africa?

Roll a penny down a hill.

Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

How do you get half of Mexico to jump off a cliff?

Throw a penny off. How do you get the other half to jump too? ... Tell them no one found it yet.

Whats the easiest way to drown a blonde?

Glue a penny to the bottom of a swimming pool ALTERNATE ENDING: Put a scratch n' sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny?

Canadians became *penniless*

How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day?

Like what if you find a penny

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Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

What do you call a penny with Jesus on it?

J.C. Penny

Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies?

Because this docent makes any cents.

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

A penny.

What did Sheldon say to Penny?

BaZINCa!!

Why did she get entry to the pub without paying a single penny?

Cause she being she, wasn't even worth a penny. (/hehheh)

Why is a cat like a penny?

Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

A: Change.

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What tense do Italians speak in?

Pasta continuous.

Why does pasta always have to pay so much for car insurance?

Because it can't drive a car without making it all denty.

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

How many times does 43 go into 9?

The priest won't tell you, but *he knows*.

Why is 11 afraid of 9?

Because ten, nine ate!

Cliff Jokes More Cliff Jokes

Why is it best to teach physics on the edge of a cliff?

Original joke) Because that's where students have the most potential.

What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a cliff?

Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

Interrupt Jokes More Interrupt Jokes

What does the interrupting cow say?

HE SAYS MOO oh wait this joke totally doesn't work in text

How do you interrupt a vegans dinner?

Just turn on the sprinkler.

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

Who wins in a fight: Goku or Superman?

Wrong, Batman always wins. &nbsp; Yes, I do have the sense of humor of a 5 year old.

What is the most offensive joke you know?

I'm bored tonight and I have a no holds barred sense of humour. What are some of your worst

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did it take so long to find the bodies of the black firefighters after the building they were in caught fire and collapsed?

Cause the building collapsed, duh.

How hard is it to find cigarettes?

Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them.

1980 Jokes More 1980 Jokes

Why are 1980 pennies worth more than 1979 pennies?

Dads joke) The same reason 10 pennies is worth more than 9.

Why are all Quaker truck drivers stuck in the 1980's?

Q:Why are all Quaker truck drivers stuck in the 1980's? A: Because they are Haulin' Oats!

God Jokes More God Jokes

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

How did God make Himself?

I have to remember to start getting high before bedtime.