Minute Ago Jokes

Why did the coffee taste like mud?

It was ground a few minutes ago.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What do you call a fuzzy animal that grows on trees?

A root bear! (I came up with this joke a few minutes ago. I hope it's funny)

What's happened to this one?

I don't know two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.

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Mud Jokes More Mud Jokes

How do vampire football players get the mud off?

They all get in the bat-tub.

What happened to be, she, and they... ...when they were discovered face-down in the mud?

They were PRONOUNS dead

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why are the avenues in Paris lined with trees?

A:Because Germans like to march in the shade.

How do you get a black guy out of a tree?

Cut the rope!

Dump Jokes More Dump Jokes

What did the cannibal do after dumping her boyfriend?

She wiped her arse.

What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank

What happened when the sausage came in first?

An announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wiener!"

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What's the best part about marrying a farmer?

You get to grow old together.

Why is it called extra virgin olive oil?

Because they grow the olives inside, away from the birds and the bees.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did Chad Kroeger say after leaving a concert of Justin Bieber?

I want my Nickleback....

What do all 'Tickle Me Elmo' toys receive before leaving the factory?

Two test tickles.

Grind Jokes More Grind Jokes

What happened to the dog that fell into a lens-grinding machine?

He made a spectacle of himself.

What did the lesbian lumberjill say to her girlfriend?

Have I got an ax to grind with you.

Beautiful Girl Jokes More Beautiful Girl Jokes

How can a beautiful girl like you be single?

Dave, I literally dumped you 5 minutes ago. Please leave"

What is that the more you desire, the less you can get?

Beautiful girls.