Personality Jokes

What do engineers use for birth control?

Their personality.

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What does an IT guy use for birth control?

His personality.

What did the banker use for birth control?

His personality

What does a feminist use as a contraceptive?

Her personality

What does an accountant use for birth control?

His personality.

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

What do you prefer, flat or sparkling?

Him: Water Me: No, my personality.

What do accountants use for birth-control?

A. Their personalities.

What does an Engineer use for contraception?

His personality!

Whats around $5000+ and enhances personality?

Breast implants.

What does an IT guys use for birth control?

His personality.

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What does a violin player use as birth control?

Their personality

What, why?

is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What did the mathematician say while golfing?

2 squared!

What did the mexican fire chief call his 2 sons?

Hose A and hose B (read it out loud)

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What do you call 3 agnostics sitting at a bar?

I don't know.

How many Arabs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM

3 Language Jokes More 3 Language Jokes

What do you call someone who speaks 2 languages?

Bilingual What do you call someone who speaks 3 languages? Trilingual. What do you call someone who speaks only 1 language? American.

What do you call a person who knows 3 languages?

Trilingual. What do you call a person who knows 2 languages Bilingual. What do you call a person who knows only one language American.

Old Person Jokes More Old Person Jokes

What's a VCR?

My 10yo instantly making me feel like the oldest person who has ever lived. I need calcium chews for my brittle bones.

What do you call an old person from Portugal?

A portugeeser

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Where do lobsters buy their work clothes?

Homardware.

What's the use of happiness?

It can't buy you money.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How does a booze thief make you feel better?

He lifts your spirits.

Why does John Cena always take awhile to feel better when he's sick?

Because the Doctor can never see him.

Winter Jokes More Winter Jokes

Why don't Bond villains feel cold in the winter?

Because they dress in lairs.

Why do bees stay in their hive during Winter?

Swarm.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many bees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

How many Scorpios does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: So who wants to know Why do *you* want to know Are you a cop