Spy Jokes

What's Richard Nixon's favorite game?

I spy.

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What's the NSA's favourite game?

I spy.

What do you call a spy that likes to spend time with his son?

James Bonding bah dun tss

Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover

Who is both a knight and a spy?

Sir Veillance

Why did the spy cross the road?

Because he never really was on your side.

Where do Russian Spy's live?

In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student?

An essay.

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

A: By moss code.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name?

Worst. Spy. Ever.

Why do spies never use capitalization?

They like to stay low-key.

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What do the Chinese call their spies?

Secret Asians.

Why did the spy steal the laptop?

It had a sticker that said 'intel inside'.

Why did the spy cross the border?

Because he never really was on your side.

What do you call it when a book spies on people?

A: A peeping tome.

What kind of spy hangs out in department stores?

A: A counter spy.

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

What do spies say in bed?

Shh I'm undercovers

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Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the buffalo say when dropping off his son at college?

Bison.

What did the daddy salt say to his son?

Stop cracking your NaCles."

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

What do you say to a handicapped dog?

Stay"

Essay Jokes More Essay Jokes

What do you call an essay in a flash drive???

who wants 2 try?

Why did the mexican girl get pregnant?

Because her teacher told her to do an essay

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What makes a joke bad?

redundancy.

What did the thunder say when it understood the joke?

I feel so enlightninged!

Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

Why did the boy drop his Ice Cream?

A: He was hit by a bus

Why are Women like buses?

You wait all day for one then find out 48 other people in the local area have been riding on her.

Nice Day Jokes More Nice Day Jokes

What does a french truck driver shout during Bastille Day?

Have a NICE day!

Where do Russian Spy's live?

In a Snow Den. (This is a joke. Please refrain from yelling at me, that he is not a spy. Thank you and have a nice day.)

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

How does a Russian bomb explode?

Kaboomshki

What do you call a sick russian?

A sicka blyat

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What part of your punctuality emancipates the Chinese?

Your Ti"ming"!

What do you call an academic who apologises all the time?

An anthropologist