Vend Jokes

What's the best machine at the gym?

The vending machine.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?

I want my quarter back!

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

You might also enjoy:

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why is French person a better team player than a pirate?

The pirate says, "Aye, aye!" The French says, "Oui, oui!"

What does a pirate do for entertainment?

Whatever floats his boat.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do we want?

Race car noises. When do we want them? Neoooooooooooooooooooooow

Why do husbands die before their wives?

They want to.

Press Jokes More Press Jokes

Why can't the hydraulic press guy bring himself to crush a can of sprite?

Because it's soda pressing

Why did the soda can quit its job at the vending machine?

It was soda pressing.

Cancel Jokes More Cancel Jokes

Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?

Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776.

Whopper at BK You hear BK is now selling a black whopper?

They are already cancelling it because it will never work and everyone wants it for free ...... lmao

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What did the nudist criminal say when he agreed to a criminal plan?

I'm in, but I'm not decent."

Eminem Jokes More Eminem Jokes

Why did Taco Bell hire Eminem?

Because he's a Wrap God

What did Eminem learn to defend himself?

Marshall arts.

Insert Jokes More Insert Jokes

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and a woman?

Inserting a rod into the reactor turns it off.

Gym Membership Jokes More Gym Membership Jokes

Why did the zombie get a gym membership?

Gaaaainsss

Why did you cancel your gym membership?

Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with