Monica Lewinsky Jokes

Why did Monica Lewinsky vote Republican?

Because Democrat left a bad taste in her mouth!

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What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common?

All they talk about is the presidential erection

What do Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common?

They both say insert Bill here

What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?

It's their knees that go first.

What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

One US Leader

What's white, located in washington and has a president within it?

Monica Lewinsky's teeth.

What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

1 US Leader.

Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor?

He always shoves a Bill down her throat!

What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?

He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across."

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

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What was Monica Lewinsky's job at the White House?

Receiving heads of state.

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why do brown women wear red dots on their heads?

Because they record everything. (I swear I made it up n I'm brown too)

What do members of secret societies use when they get a head cold?

An Illumi-neti pot

Soda Machine Jokes More Soda Machine Jokes

What do Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common?

They both say insert Bill here

What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine?

They both don't work and always take your money

Leader Jokes More Leader Jokes

What do you call an IS-leader on a motorcycle?

Abu Bikr

Whats a cannibals favorite game?

Swallow the leader.

Volume Jokes More Volume Jokes

What is the volume of a disk with radius z and height a?

Pi * z * z * a

What is the volume of pizza?

Pizza of course! If z = radius of the pizza and a = the height then * radius2 * height = Pi * z * z * a = Pizza.

Bad Taste Jokes More Bad Taste Jokes

Why did Monica Lewinsky vote Republican?

Because Democrat left a bad taste in her mouth!

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Republican Jokes More Republican Jokes

Why are Republicans always so strung up about 9/11?

A: Elephants never forget.

What do you call a republican fashion director?

Clothed minded

Shove Jokes More Shove Jokes

How's the baby?

Me: He keeps trying to shove socks thru the mail slot. Wife: Aw. His socks or yours Me: Socks is the neighbor's cat..

Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor?

He always shoves a Bill down her throat!

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?

Nukes... You're fired!