Wrong Jokes

How many /r/Jokes users does it take to make a Joke?

WRONG! They don't make it, they steal it...

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What is worse than getting a wrong call at 3 AM in the morning?

Getting a right call.

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

Why do you Americans drive on the wrong side of the road?

I told him, "Dude, we literally drive on the right side."

What do you call someone who tells you they've successfully broken the Law of Excluded Middle?

WRONG.** ... or right, or something in between.

What do you call a bee from the wrong side of town?

A bumblegee

Why did people stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?

Banta: Because people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes..

What do you see?

Patient: A house and Me: Wrong it's Batman. Ok this one Patient: I se Me: Nope. Batman again.

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Dictionary Jokes More Dictionary Jokes

How can you tell if a dictionary has been working out?

You can see the definition.

How do you spell elephant ?

E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t "That's not how the dictionary spells it" "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !"

Deliver Jokes More Deliver Jokes

How did the stem cell break it to his girl?

It's not you it's me*iosis* Could probably do with some work on deliver as I made it 5 minutes ago

What do you call a person who delivers horribly?

A re-postman. Or a re-post person if you feel triggered.

People Jokes More People Jokes

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery?

Yep, people are just dying to get in there

How many people with OCD does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. It *has* to be seven.

Quote Jokes More Quote Jokes

Why did Mr. T reject Socialism?

Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: "All you have to lose is your chains."

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!

President Jokes More President Jokes

Who was the last President of China?

Yes he was.

Who is a Minion's favorite politician?

First ever president of Zimbabwe, President Banana

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

What's black white and read all over?

A: A newspaper.

How did the newspaper go about reviewing the opera production?

They followed Standard Opera-rating Procedure

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What is the best animal related joke you know?

These jokes should be any jokes that are even vaguely related to animals!

Why are astrophysicists always nervous before they launch a new satellite?

It can be a very Hubble-ing experience. These jokes may not be funny for you, but they are Fermi.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you open a banana safe?

With a monkey.

What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator was opened?

Close that damn door! Can't you see I'm dressing??"