Captain America Jokes

Why does Black Widow love sitting on Captain America's shield?

Because it's made out of vibranium.

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Why wasn't there a Captain America movie tie in videogame?

Because every time one bug was fixed, 2 more appeared.

What do you get when you dress the Hulk in Captain America's clothes?

A Star-Spangled Banner.

What happens to Captain America when he dies?

He goes to the Evans

What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

Trapped Under Ice.

Who fought in the Civil War?

Millennial student: Captain America and Iron Man. T: ....

What would Captain America be called if he fought in Vietnam?

You weren't there man

What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?

A Star-Spangled Banner.

What is Captain America's shield made of?

Vibranium. What is Hawkeye's Shield made of **Quicksilver**

What do you get when you cross Captain America with The Incredible Hulk?

A star-spangled banner

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What does Metallica's St. Anger and Star Wars VIII have in common?

No solo.

What's your favorite song?

Me, to a baby wearing a Metallica shirt at the grocery store.

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How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as a choir boy!

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They all dress like Dobby.

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What kind of a friar loves philosophy?

A deep friar.

Why do you love your puppy more than you love your wife?

Because the puppy only knows the tricks you taught her

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What's cold and always runs from a fight?

Coward ice.

Where do onions fight?

In the onion ring!

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What kind of music did Jesus hate?

Anything by Judas Priest and Nine Inch Nails.

Why do mathematicians hate the U.S.?

Because it's indivisible.

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What has 72 teeth and can hold back the Incredible Hulk?

My zipper.

What has 108 teeth and holds back the incredible Hulk?

My Zipper.

Hawkeye Jokes More Hawkeye Jokes

What's Captain America's shield made out of?