Decision Jokes

Who wouldn't let the gorilla in the ballet?

Just... the person responsible for making those decisions...

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How does a penguin make a decision?

Flipper coin. Again, I shall take my leave.

What do you call it when you second guess your decision to book a stay at a Native American resort?

A reservation reservation reservation. Credit to Brian Regan, this is my favorite joke of his!

What's the difference between "a choice" and " to choose?

A choice" is a decision you make. "To choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

How does a group of dolphin's make a decision?

Flipper coin!

What's the difference between "choice" and "choose?

Choice" is your ability to make decisions, "choose" are what Mexicans put on their feet.

Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet?

Just the people who were in charge of that decision.

Where do war generals make decisions?

In a think tank

What do you call it if you were to second guess your decision to book time at a native american community?

That's a reservation reservation reservation. (Credit to Brian Regan)

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Foot Jokes More Foot Jokes

What do you call a man who has lost the lower parts of his legs, but still somehow has his feet?

Tony.

What lies on it's back a hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

Reservation Reservation Reservation Jokes More Reservation Reservation Reservation Jokes

What do you call it if you were to second guess your decision to book time at a native american community?

That's a reservation reservation reservation. (Credit to Brian Regan)

What do you have when you are having second thoughts about your booking on Native American land?

Reservation reservation reservations.

Apply Jokes More Apply Jokes

Why did the Republican get a sunburn?

Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise.

What do you do when your wife starts smoking?

Slow down and apply lube

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus?

A: He wanted to sing higher!

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the vulture say when the airline agent asked if he wanted to check his luggage?

No, thanks, it's just carrion...

When my laptop asks "Are you sure?

it's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions I have made.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a midget mexican?

A paragraph since he isn't a full essay

What do you call a Mexican pervert?

A pedrophile

Lucas Jokes More Lucas Jokes

What if George Lucas was the new Supreme Court justice?

Lucas gets indicted after video surfaces of him tampering with previous decisions he made.

Why do the English drink warm beer?

Lucas refrigerators.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves?

Russel

Why can't the NSA leaker leave Russia?

Because he's Snow'd-in!