Enemy Jokes

How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy?

Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.

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Why did the barracuda want to hire the clown fish's anemone?

Because the barracuda believed that "anemone of my enemy is a friend."

What did the burger do when he ate his enemy the hotdog?

he relished it

Why was the russian airforce less superior than their enemies?

Cause their airplanes kept STALIN!! (Ill see myself out...)

What do you do when you see an enemy with half a face?

Reload and shoot again!

Where's Jim?

He went M.I.A. *Cut to Jim* All I wanna do *bang bang bang bang* *reloading noise* And shoot enemies

What do u say?

SON: I WILL CRUSH MY ENEMIES ME: *nervous laughter* No, the other thing SON: Oh. Thank you

What's your enemy called?

Dr Doom. Yours " "Joker" stifles laughter "I HAVE OTHERS" "Ye-" "Penguin" just loses it

What do the English use to blow up their enemies?

Tea N' Tea.

How many gears does a French battle tank have?

Five. Four in reverse, and one in case the enemy is attacking from the rear.

Who joke what do Dr. Who's enemies do when they get dirty?

Dalek themselves clean

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Why was William considered a enemy?

Because, His last name was Dafoe

How does Snoop Dogg get revenge?

Faux pho fo' foe. Served cold of course. I also doubt Snoop has many enemies.

How do you call Anakin Skywalker's padawan after getting tased by enemy?

A shocked Tano.

How do you spell a hated opponent with three letters?

NME (enemy).

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Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

How would you describe the average bully?

Mean.

What's the difference between politics and engineering?

What POC means.

Common Enemy Jokes More Common Enemy Jokes

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well?

Because they have a common enemy

What is the common enemy of frostbite victims and dairy products?

Lack-toes Intolerance.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What is he doing now?

Friend: "Nothing" Me: "But I thought he got the job! " Friend: "Yes he did."

Why did voldermort used Twitter instead of Facebook?

Because he only had followers. Not friends.

Dairy Product Jokes More Dairy Product Jokes

What is the common enemy of frostbite victims and dairy products?

Lack-toes Intolerance.

What do you call a fight between two dairy products?

A fromage fray.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why do graveyards have fences?

Cause everyone's dying to get in!

Which presidential candidate is the most likely to cause cancer?

Ben Carsonogen

Airplane Jokes More Airplane Jokes

What do you call a model flying an airplane full of animals?

Zoolander

Why did the student study in an airplane?

He wanted a higher education!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

Stalin Jokes More Stalin Jokes

What did russian judge say to the jury?

I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort.

Why Russians never drive stick shift?

They really hate Stalin