Sing Jokes

You don't know none.. And here to learn one.. So when you are with your friends.. Or walking with your son.. Tell them reddit jokes.. thinking now they would listen... (to you) play it cool, play it slow.. No need to blow.. Take this further, take this far.. till sang by a star. (Improvise it as you like, don't care about the grammar. No rapper does.)

What Journey song to Chinese people sing at funerals?

Don't Stop Bereavin'

Why Beyonce?

Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'? - Because black people have no rights...

How many country singers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw in the lightbulb and another to sing about all the good times they had with the lightbulb.

Who sang at the funeral of those who died in a railroads arson?

Adele. Some one set fire to the train

What do the Greeks sing while at sea?

your boat, gently down the stream...

Why do fish always sing off key?

You can't tuna fish.

What is the difference between a black person and a tire?

The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains.

What does Peter Gabriel sing on the toilet?

I am the extruder...

What does Sting have in common with a snitch?

They both sang at the police.

Why do people say amen instead of awomen at church?

Because they sing hymns, not hers.

Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

Because she used the other to sing

What do you call someone who sings about mints?

A "Minstrel".

What Christmas Carol do they sing in North Korea?

We Three Kims

Why is Dave Mustaine described as "heavy metal"?

Because he sings lead. (Better read than said.)

Which four-member rock group doesn't sing or play music?

Mount Rushmore.

Why was the attorney kicked out of choir?

All she could sing was, "Law, law, law, law, law, law, law."

Why does Helen Keller play the piano with only one hand?

Because she uses the other one to sing.

What does Tarzan sing at Christmas?

Jungle Bells

Why does Helen Keller play piano one-handed?

She sings with the other hand.

Why did Florence Welch sing 'Sweet Nothing'?

Because she was out of lemo-nada. It's okay guys, i'll let myself out...

What did Jeffrey Dahmer sing as he went to the refrigerator?

My Bologna had a first name.

Whats the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!

What does Spock sing in the shower?

What does Spock sing in the shower? I'll stop the world and meld with you!

How many Irish folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how grand the old bulb was.

What do you call a search engine that sings Christmas songs?

Michael google.

How can you tell an old person from a young person?

An old person can sing and brush their teeth at the same time.

What did the pony say when he sang with a sore throat?

Sorry, I'm just a little hoarse!

Why does Bono sing acapella when he's feeling down?

It takes the edge off it

What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Lang Swine.

Why does Beyonce sing "To the left, to the left?

Because black people have no rights

What does Debbie Reynolds sing in heaven?

Good mourning, good mourning, good mourning!!!

How can Ozzy Osbourne possibly sing that?

when Tony Iommi is standing right next to him, alive and well.

How many country stars does it take to change a light bulb?

Six-1 to change the bulb and 5 to sing about how much they miss the old one.

What did the Japanese Journey covers band sing at the funeral?

Don't stop, bereaving!

What did the asian couple name their black baby?

Sum sing wong

What is green, sings and can be found in the fridge?

Elvis Parsley

What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?

Jungle Bells Jungle bells.. !

What are your symptoms?

I can't laugh and I can't sing. I'm finding it hard to do anything!"

What do post-impressionist painters sing when painting a Frozen landscape?

Let it Gogh!

Who sung?

Sam. Samsung

What's the difference between an erection and Colin Kaepernick?

An erection can make it past the semis, and still stand up if you sing for it.

How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem?

Oh secant, you say "

What song do burgers sing on the job?

Gristle While You Work!

What did Adele say when she crossed the road?

sing* Hello from the other side!

What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common?

They're both Christmith Thongs.

What song do you sing if you're not a fan of Christmas?

Sigh-lent night

Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?

A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!

How do pirates sing the ABC's?

abcdefghijklmnopq AAAAARRRRRR stuvwxy and z

What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?

Happy Birthday To Gnu!"

What did the dead blues musician sing?

Didn't wake up this morning..."

How many native Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

About seven. One to change the bulb, six to sing the song.

Why did the girl who worked for the telephone company sing all the time?

Because she was an operetta (operator).

What do you call a pachyderm that sings jazz?

Elephants Gerald

What song to snakes like to sing ?

Viva Aspana !

What do you call a black person that cant sing?

A rapper

How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.

What is this alien looking thing in a wig trying to sing?

Oh wait thats Nicki Minaj. Why would an alien in a wig pick Nicki Minaj as a name

Why did the boy bring a ladder to chorus?

A: He wanted to sing higher!

What are your intentions with our daughter?

Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me

Why does Beyonce sing, "To the left, to the left!"?

Because black women have no rights.

What do owls sing when it is raining ?

Too wet to woo' !

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

What do elephants sing at christmas ?

Noel-ephants Noel-ephants...

What do you call a canadian girl that can not sing?

Justin Bieber

Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?

He loved to sing "Oinkers Aweight"

Who sings "Love me tender" and makes Christmas toys?

Santa's little Elvis.

What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman?

The Rolling Stones sing "Hey You! Get off of my cloud!" A Scotsman shouts "Hey Mcleod!! Get off of my ewe!"

Which songs do planets sing?

Neptunes.

What genre can't Ed Sheeran sing ?

Soul

What's the difference between snow tires and slaves?

Slaves sing when chains are put on them. PS - im going to church today to beg for forgiveness

What's blue and sings alone?

Dan Ackroyd.

What do Scottish owls sing?

Owld Lang Syne.

Why does Beyonce sing the song "to the left"?

Because black people have no rights...

What do internet football fans sing?

E we go E we go E we go!

What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary?

I don't know but when it sits on your electric wire and sings all your lights go out

Why do the say "Amen" in church but not "Awoman?

Because they sing hymns, not hers!*

How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.

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