Gardener Jokes

What did the gardener say to the rose?

Hello, bud.

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What did the gardener yell when his vegetarian friend visited?

Run Berry, run!

What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker?

A box hedge fund!

What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks.

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener?

One of them has to water their vegetables

Why do gardeners make horrible cops?

Because they keep planting evidence.

What did the alien say to the gardener?

Take me to your weeder.

Why are gardeners the best pimps?

Because they are well versed in whorticulture

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?

A lawn moo-er.

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What's white, digs holes in your garden and helps with headaches?

A paracetamole!

What kind of gardening is done in the hood?

Weeding

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Which perfume do you use ?

It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife." Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."

What's dumber than a box of rocks?

The hippie carrying it. What's dumber than that? The yuppie buying it. What's dumber than that? The box of rocks

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What do you call a reindeer trapped in a storm?

A Thundeer

What is the worlds wettest animal?

The reindeer

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

What do you get when you fart on your wallet?

Gas money

Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.

Tend Jokes More Tend Jokes

What did the botanist say to the plant he was tired of tending to?

Grow away.

Why do software engineers tend to not care about trigger warnings?

They're not trigger errors.

Visit Jokes More Visit Jokes

Why don't nervous vegans visit Germany?

They fear the wurst!

Why do New Yorkers like to visit Minnesota?

Because that's where the mini apple is!

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What's the similarity of a dough and a human?

If they are thick, they have a hard time to rise

What do you call it when a black guy gets a hard on?

The Dark Knight Rises

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Why do inquisitive peppers annoy people?

Because they get jalapeo business.

What do you get when you have a nosey pepper?

It gets jalapeo business.