Ill Jokes

What do you say when your ex has broken up with you?

Ill call you tomorow

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.

What do you call a pirate's helicopter?

An Eye-patchy helicopter! . Ill show myself out.

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.

What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion. Ill be here all week...

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO

Why was the russian airforce less superior than their enemies?

Cause their airplanes kept STALIN!! (Ill see myself out...)

What do you call a sick dictator?

Kim Jong-ILL . . . . . Ill show myshelf out...

Why can't you run in camp sites?

Its 'ran', because it's past tents... Ill see myself out.

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray... (Ill see myself out)

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Airplane Jokes More Airplane Jokes

Why don't airplanes make good dads?

They are always taking off.

What do you say to an airplane when it gets mad?

Cool your jets.

Norse God Jokes More Norse God Jokes

What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet?

DownlOdin. What do you call getting a movie about Norse gods from the Internet illegally? Thorrenting.

Why do Norse gods never ice skate?

Because the ice always Thors.

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What is the opposite of peace?

is the question.

What do call an old man that asks questions?

Pop Quiz

Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Whats the best thing on the menu?

Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*

Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?

Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?

A: Rep Tiles

What kind of bus can cross the ocean?

A Columbus.

Sick Bird Jokes More Sick Bird Jokes

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO

What do you get when you kiss a sick bird?

Cherpies.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you call a group of Mexicans smoking weed?

Baked beans

Why doesn't Rihanna smoke weed anymore?

Because she's taken enough hits.

Cure Jokes More Cure Jokes

How do you cure the bird flu versus swine flu?

One you use tweetment and the other, oinkment

How to cure affluenza?

Introduce him to Warhammer.