Machine Jokes

What machine do you need to make a girl fall in love with you ?

An ATM machine

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What is my dentist's favorite indie band?

Fluoride and the Machine

What did the man who invented the bum shaking machine realize when he turned it on?

It twerked.

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. They have a machine that does that now.

What's that machine for?

Oh, that's the forklift" ME: OH MY GOD HOW HEAVY ARE YOUR FORKS

Why won't the machines just take over already?

I'm tired of doing stuff.

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

Which Machine Should I Use?

Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"

What do you call a machine that automatically paddles your boat?

A row bot.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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How to pick up chicks at the gym Pasted from Facebook: A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

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Point Jokes More Point Jokes

How can you tell that a straight pin is confused?

Just look at it. It's headed in one direction and pointed in the other.

Why can't you ever answer any of my questions?

Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here!

Blond Jokes More Blond Jokes

How does a blond, get revenge on her blond boyfriend?

She paints a target icon around the outlet.

How does a blond cross the road?

A brunette is on a busy street across from a department store she needs to visit, and is looking for an intersection to cross over when she spots a blonde walking out of the store. The brunette waves and calls out over the traffic noise, "hey there! How do I get to the other side?" The blonde looks confused and calls back, "you ARE on the other side!"

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why is it so quiet when pterodactyls use the restroom?

Their P is silent.

What cheese is used to block online streaming?

Edam

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio?

Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue.

What's the difference between a dentist and a sadist?

Newer magazines

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What did the guy say after he finished jacking off?

Well that got a load off my mind.

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What kind of music do phones love to hear?

A symphony

Why does Daniel love white vans?

Because he likes candy... *I'll walk myself out*

Atm Machine Jokes More Atm Machine Jokes

Which Machine Should I Use?

Coach: "Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym"

What machine do you need to make a girl fall in love with you ?

An ATM machine

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's 6 inches long and 2 inches wide and drives women wild ?

A 100$ bill

What is something a woman hates about a man but a man would love about a woman?

Premature ejactulation.