Standard Jokes

Whats the difference between a USB and the USA?

One has standards.

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How much does a Polar Bear weigh?

Enough to lower your standards, I'm moonsoutgoonsout

Why did the banjo player get into heaven?

The devil has standards.

Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions?

It pains them to have standards.

Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

Why should apiarists determine standards of beauty?

Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

What do you like about me?

Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What Me: Your eyes

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Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why did your sister jump out the window ?

Because she wanted to try out her new spring suit

What did the optimist say as he jumped off the building?

So far, so good.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

Where does Stevie Wonder park his car?

In blind spots.

Step Jokes More Step Jokes

What's the first step to throwing a space party?

You planet.

How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How do you get girls?

Me: I'm smart and funny. Her: That works Me: No I'm terribly alone, I was just saying.

What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant?

Donkey!" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work.

Usb Jokes More Usb Jokes

What country is next to USA?

USB.

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.

Christmas Alphabet Jokes More Christmas Alphabet Jokes

Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has Noel.

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

Connect Jokes More Connect Jokes

What's the difference between USA and USB?

One connects to all your devices & accesses your data, and the other is a hardware standard

What's the difference between a USB and the USA?

One connects to all your devices and accesses your data, the other is a harware standard.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between yogurt and the US?

Yogurt's got a culture. (no offence)

What's the difference between the English rugby team and a teabag?

A teabag stays in the cup longer! (im so sorry -)