Polar Bear Jokes

What is the definition of a polar bear?

A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation.

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What is the dumbest animal in the jungle?

A polar bear

What's the stupidest animal you can find in a jungle?

A polar bear.

What's the stupidest animal in the jungle?

The polar bear.

Whats the most politically divided animal?

The polar bear.. I'll see myself out...

What's a polar bear?

A rectangular bear after a cordinate transform.

How much does a Polar Bear weigh?

Enough to lower your standards, I'm moonsoutgoonsout

Where do polar bears go to deposit money?

A snowbank

What do Polar Bears and Black Men have in common?

They're real cute when they are young but at a certain age they start getting scary.

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was a polar bear.

What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a seal?

A polar bear

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Where do Polar Bears keep their money?

In the Snowbank. My first post is a dad joke LOL

Where does a polar bear keep his money?

In a snow bank.

Which one dissolves?

The polar bear, because he's polar!

What's the difference between one polar bear and 10 polar bears?

9 polar bears (joke on a mug at work. lame, ik)

What is the difference between a polar bear and the World Series?

One has cubs

What is more dangerous than a polar bear?

A bi-polar bear.

What's the difference between GOP voters and polar bears?

Polar bears gather around the ice hole.

How do you drown a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

How do you get a polar bear in the water?

First, you cut a hole in the ice, then you sprinkle some pees around the hole. When the polar bear goes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole!

What do you get when you cross a seal and a polar bear?

A polar bear.

What kind of bear dissolves in water?

A polar bear.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear?

Nothing, penguins live in the south pole and polar bears live in the north pole. TROLOLOLOL

What's with the big pause?

And the polar bear says, "Oh, I've always had them."

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet ?

It lives on ice !

How would you get four reindeer in a car?

Two in the front and two in the back! And how do you get four polar bears in a car Take the reindeer out first

What do you guys think of polar bears?

I think they all white.

Where do polar bears go to have emotional breakthroughs?

The CathArctic.

What do you call a polar bear who works for Fox News?

A bad news bear

What's a polar bears favourite pasta?

Penguini!

What kind of money do polar bears use ?

Ice lolly !

What's a Polar Bear's favourite soup?

A laksa.

What's worse than a polar bear?

A bi-polar bear.

What do polar bears have for lunch ?

Ice burger !

Why did the bear's magnetic personality make him so popular?

He was a polar bear!

Whats the saddest thing about global warming/iceberg melting?

Polar bears won't be able to keep their cokes cold.

What's the dumbest animal in the desert?

The Polar Bear

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South Pole Jokes More South Pole Jokes

What did the penguin say to the polar bear?

Nothing, penguins live in the south pole and polar bears live in the north pole. TROLOLOLOL

Why is the north pole of a magnet red?

Because they don't have seals on the south pole Takes a while to get, but it's worth it in the end.

Tantrum Jokes More Tantrum Jokes

What is the difference between Reddit and children's television?

Children don't throw tantrums when there's a rerun of some content.

What did the polar bear's wife say when she couldn't bear his tantrums any more?

Bye bye bipolar polar bear

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What do you call a joke with the wrong punchline?

To get to the other side!

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to repost the joke twice before she realizes that it isn't funny anymore

Dissolve Jokes More Dissolve Jokes

What do you get when you dissolve Zyklon B into Israel's water supply?

A final solution

Why didn't the grizzly bear dissolve?

Because he wasn't polar

Jerk Jokes More Jerk Jokes

What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day?

He always came on time.

What did the Seven Dwarfs say when the prince woke up Snow White?

Welp.... I guess it's back to jerking off!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of music does a printer make?

A paper jam.

What kind of money do monsters use?

Weirdo (weird dough).

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

What did the pea say to the peanut?

At least you got one nut, I don't see what you're crying about.

What's a hippies favourite food?

Peas, man.

Ice Jokes More Ice Jokes

What can I get you ?

Harambe: I'll have a beer. Man: No, he'll have just ice. Bartender: Just ice Man: Yes, justice for Harambe.

What does a Polish guy do on the ice?

He breaks in.