Swinge Jokes

Why did Lucy fall off the swing?

Jimmy pushed her... Which is a shame because she was getting used to swinging without arms.

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What's more fun then swinging a baby on a clothes line?

Stopping it with a shovel.

What's more fun than swinging a dead baby by a string?

Stopping it with a shovel!

What's more fun than swinging an infant over your head with a rope as fast as you can?

Stopping it with a shovel

What's better than swinging a dead baby around a tether pole?

stopping it with a shovel

What do Big Ben and the House of Commons have in common?

Both have a huge bellend swinging his weight around inside

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Mary Jokes More Mary Jokes

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted?

Diversion Mary

How did Mary fall off the swing?

She had no arms

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What's the difference between the standard alphabet and Christmas alphabet?

There's Noel.

What do you get a kid without arms for Christmas?

Gloves, but he doesn't know that yet.. since he can't open it.

Bus Jokes More Bus Jokes

Why was the London sperm bank so unsuccessful?

The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube.

How do you get Pikachu on a bus?

You Pokmon!

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What's the best way to get bubblegum out of your hair?

Cancer

What did the Blind, Deaf man get for Christmas?

Cancer

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you call the pope after a drive by?

Your holiness"

What did the one fish in the tank say to the other?

Do you know how to drive this thing "

Little Girl Jokes More Little Girl Jokes

Why can't the little girl color the elephant in her coloring book?

Her arms are amputated.

What did the parent say when the little girl was whining?

A: Leave it to peave her.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill?

The penguin who pushed him!

How many IBM CPUs does it take to perform a logical right shift?

A: 32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register.

Axe Jokes More Axe Jokes

How do you stop a clown from laughing?

Hit it in the face with an axe.

When O. J. Simpson's kids wanted to go out and play, what did he tell them?

Go axe your mother."