Uber Jokes

What did the sarcastic taximan say when he lost his job?

Oh well that's just uber, isn't it

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Why did the cab driver did not get time for his family?

Because he was Uber busy.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

What do you call a white guy with 2 black guys in the back of the car?

The police. What do you call a black guy with 2 white guys in the back of the car Uber!

Why can't PC gamers use Uber?

Too many incompatible drivers.

What do laws and virgins have in common?

They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the restroom?

Because they're extinct

What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth?

A pedi-file

Violate Jokes More Violate Jokes

What' is a pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Sir, We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ...

What do laws and virgins have in common?

They're both there to be violated. (The sad part is that a Portuguese Taxi Driver actually said that seriously in a protest against Uber)

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What do you get if you cross goat DNA with human DNA?

I don't know, ask the Arabs!

What did the animal control officer ask the Hawaiian dancer?

Hula the dogs out?

Intel Jokes More Intel Jokes

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?

Life is like a box of chocolates...

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

Nietzsche Jokes More Nietzsche Jokes

Why can't Nietzsche use pencils?

Because they're all pointless

What do you call the corner of the market that specializes in philosophy?

A Nietzsche market!

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do Communists only write in lowercase?

Because they hate Capitalism.

Why do hipsters hate ice skating?

They could never do it before it was cool

Budweiser Jokes More Budweiser Jokes

Who's there ! Bud ! Bud who ?

Budweiser the King of Beers !

What is the name of your friend's advisor?

Budweiser

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What has everyone been doing at Apple since the problems with the iPhone 6 started?

Looking for Jobs.

How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb?

They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation.