What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.

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Big Difference Jokes More Big Difference Jokes

What's the biggest difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

The taste.

Whats the biggest difference between men and women?

The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.

Pea Soup Jokes More Pea Soup Jokes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes?

Anyone can mash potatoes

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

How do you drown a polar bear?

Cut a hole in the ice. Put a line of peas around the hole. When the polar bear takes a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!

Where is everybody?

Everybody I don't know. All over the planet I guess.

Soup Jokes More Soup Jokes

What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

Why did the Irishman only put 239 beans in his soup?

Because one more would have been too farty.

Pork Jokes More Pork Jokes

What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit the frog

What do Kermit the Frog and David Cameron Have in Common?

They both like to pork.

Chop Jokes More Chop Jokes

Why did the butcher die ?

Because he chopped off the wrong sausage.

What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law?

You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law.