Checkmate Jokes

What is Checkmate?

You tell your Wife, "I saw a lady, looked exactly like you" Wife asks, "WAS SHE BEAUTIFUL?" You cant say 'NO' You cant say 'YES' That is Checkmate!

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Why can't you checkmate a christian?

Because they're all pawns and their king doesn't exist.

How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate?

with an en croissant

What do you call it when you get stuck into a shotgun wedding with a Czech?

Checkmate!

Who ate all the cookies?

5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.

Who's there ! Checkmate ! Checkmate who ?

Checkmate bounce if you don't have money in the bank !

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Bounce Jokes More Bounce Jokes

What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ?

A bouncing baby boa !

Why did you drop the baby?

Well Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby so I wanted to see if he did.

5 Year Old Jokes More 5 Year Old Jokes

What do you call a 5 year old kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor All they wanted was books but instead they got magazines

What did you learn in kindergarten today?

5-year-old: A doughnut would help me remember. Apparently she learned bribery.

Czech Jokes More Czech Jokes

Why did Bobby Fischer marry a woman from Prague?

A: He was looking for a Czech mate.

Why do slovaks don't like Czechs?

They prefer cash.

Opponent Jokes More Opponent Jokes

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate?

with an en croissant

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What kind of money do they use on superman's home planet?

Kryptocurrency

What do you call a dog that wisely saves money for retirement?

A 401(K-9).

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

What do you call a pig stuck in a topiary?

A hedgehog.

What's brown ans sticky???

a stick :) haha (yes i know its super lame)

King Jokes More King Jokes

What do you call it when a King gets a vasectomy?

A heir cut

What do you call the king of the jungle in the land down under?

Australian. Yes I know lions aren't jungle animals, but as per common nomenclature etc etc yadda yadda raspberry :)

Bank Jokes More Bank Jokes

Why does Bank of America not have a backspace on the ATM keypad?

Because America is never wrong.

What does a bunny do to a bank?

Rabbit