Chopstick Jokes

What's a Drummer's favorite food?

Anything that requires chopsticks. Ba-Dum-Tss

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What is another name for a knife?

A chopstick!

Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

What do Chinese lumberjacks do?

Chopsticks

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

Ba-dum-tss

Why do Russians go crazy over pho?

Because... they are so viet *ba dum tss*

Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners?

Use the forks Luke.

Who Got in an Accident?

There was a fork in the road.

Blind Man Jokes More Blind Man Jokes

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

What did the blind man say when he walked past the fish market?

Is this a tumblr meetup?"

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What is a Chinese person's favorite wound?

Bruise Lee. I'll see myself out.

Why did the optimistic Chinese guy wish he had multiple personality disorder?

He wanted to be the Changs he wanted to see in the world.

Knife Jokes More Knife Jokes

How'd you know?

P: *sees knife in my back* I'm good

Why did the two knives go to the dance together?

Because they both looked sharp!

Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

What is the point of owning a fish?

They are just furniture with the ability to die.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What evil do the USA and Darth Vader have in common?

Using imperial units.

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

Require Jokes More Require Jokes

Why did the operation Barbarossa fail?

The supreme commander didn't have the balls required.

What do you call a man with a shovel stuck in his head?

An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention.