Deserve Jokes

What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe?

A refund. credit to (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why'd the chicken cross The Road?

Because he wasn't paid the money he deserved.

Why is moving to Canada always plan B?

Canada deserves to be plan eh.

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

How does Walter Palmer like his eggs?

Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any

Why sacrifice virgins?

Because they've done nothing to deserve it.

Why do women have babies?

Because it hurts and they deserve it

Who Deserves Love"?

ME crying: Hahaha

What for?

Because he deserved it, that's what for!"

What's the best way to make an egg roll?

You push it! I deserve salmonella for even posting this...

Why are Subway cooks called "Sandwich Artists"?

Even art majors deserve recognition

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do dogs turn around three times before lying down?

One good turn deserves another.

What did the Black owner of the BMW do to deserve jail?

You mean, black people have to DO something to deserve jail p.s I know I am going dowwwnn for this

Why does my son deserve some Reddit Gold?

Because he's Autistic.

How old do I look?

9yo: 30 Aww, you deserve ice crea- 9yo: Just like grandma -m but too bad you're not getting any

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Post Jokes More Post Jokes

How many redditors does it take to post a joke to /r/Jokes?

Three. One to post it, another to post a better punchline in the comment section, and another to repost it with the new punchline.

What did Ghost A say to Ghost B?

Nothing because ghosts don't exist. Edit:Holy crap I just realized I didn't post this on /r/antijokes.

Centre Jokes More Centre Jokes

What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe?

A refund. credit to (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)

What do you call the game that centres around weak leadership?

Reddit.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

Why did the Scot screw the sheep on the edge of a cliff?

So it would push back.

Edit Jokes More Edit Jokes

How good are you with Microsoft PowerPoint?

I Excel at it." "Did you just make a Microsoft Office pun, sir " "Word." Edit: thanks u/SteveJobsiGhost

What do you call a blind, legless buck?

No eye-deer. EDIT: I totally messed this joke up. Please give me another chance with another joke

Hurt Jokes More Hurt Jokes

What did the one banana say to the other banana who had his feelings hurt?

I know that peel.

What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?

A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How do you pick one facial expression for the whole day?

Like what if you find a penny

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Upvote Jokes More Upvote Jokes

What do you call a rising poll?

Upvote

What do you call a person who uses multiple accounts to upvote their own memes?

Unidank

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the child with no hands get for his birthday?

Nobody knows yet.

Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig?

He knows a little ham goes a long way.