Flip Jokes

What happened at the funeral of the man who invented the USB?

They lowered his coffin, took it out, flipped it the other way round, then lowered it again.

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What's the difference between a white girl who likes to tan and a burger?

They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done.

How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool?

Flip it upside-down.

What happens when you flip an 8 to it's side?

Everything, given enough time

Why is Grace never thirsty?

Because she's always drinking from the coup de Grace. (This was my sister's favourite joke when we were kids. Once our mum flipped out on a long car journey because she told it too many times).

How do you get 4 girls to sit on one chair?

You flip it upside down.

How many OU (University of Oklahoma) coaches does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They aren't about to change a bulb when flipping a switch has worked for 15 years.

Why did the worm want to learn kung-fu?

so he could flip the bird

What did the can say to the can opener?

A: You make me flip my lid.

How mani Iowa citizens does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

4 no 5 no 6 no its really 4 - not sure, better flip a coin to get the right number

What did one pancake say to the others as it was tossed off the griddle into the air?

See you on the flip side.

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How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities?

He flips houses

How does the Hulk make money?

He flips houses.

What did the memory say to the processor?

If you apply a voltage to me, I'm going to flip a bit!

How do you fit 4 girls on a bar stool?

Flip it over

Why was the bottle laying down?

someone flipped it.

Why do scuba divers flip backwards when going into the water?

Because if they flipped forwards they'd still be in the boat

What do you get if you flip a Mississippi family's photo album backwards?

An episode of The Biggest Loser

How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?

You take the letter F out of way.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How do you give a time-out to a Mexican child?

Have him stand against a wall.

Why do we never take the time to thank mislabeled concrete?

It's mistaken for granite.

Mum Jokes More Mum Jokes

What do you call a British midget mother who can barely support her family?

Mini-Mum

When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?

She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana?

Try picking it up. If you can't it's either a monster or a giant banana.

What's the difference between Bill Cosby and Lena Dunham?

Lena Dunham wrote the book about it.

Chair Jokes More Chair Jokes

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three. One to hold the light bulb do and two to spin the chair

What does a dog see in the mirror?

A chair

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Whats the difference between a Christian and a Muslim?

One blows up kids, the other gets blown by them.

Whats camp for kids with ADD called?

Concentration camp.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

What happened to the religious idol when it was put up at auction?

It was sold to the highest Buddha.

What part of America can't sell full sized soft drinks?

Minnesota.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How do you say goodbye to two people in Spanish?

Adidos!

What do you call people who immigrate to Sweden?

Artificial Swedeners

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What will you be drinking?

Harambe: I'll have a beer Me: No, he'll have just ice Bartender: Just ice Me: Yes. Justice for Harambe.

What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.