Hollywood Jokes

Why did Judge Reinhold get arrested in Dallas?

Because he can't even get arrested in Hollywood.

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Why does Hollywood loveee to hire British Actors?

Cheap labor.

What's a Chinese fisherman's least favorite part of living in Hollywood?

Pilot season

Which director is Hollywood's darling?

Michael Bae

What type of wood is the most expensive?

Hollywood! (Made this up while i was doing a project.)

Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; avatar & chappie are "woven" together?

Sigourney "Weaver" :P

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why is Hollywood full of vampires?

They need someone to play the bit parts.

How Do they say "F**k You" in Hollywood?

Trust Me..."

Why does Kevin Bacon not get more leading roles in Hollywood?

Because it's not kosher. http://36.media.tumblr.com/cb0ad7dd38767e0fc2363665afdb5cdd/tumblrinlinentae7hsEL21tw80r81280.jpg

Why don't Hollywood talent agents drink chocolate milk?

Because it's not about who you know, but no Yoo-hoo.

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Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.

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Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

What makes you qualified for this job?

Me: Because i work for less and good at licking. Mgmt: You're hired.

What's your strongest weakness?

Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!

Cagey Jokes More Cagey Jokes

What did the Hollywood producer say to the Apes in the zoo when they refused to sign contracts to appear in his new film?

Stop playing it cagey!

Why is it so hard to get to know Guantanamo Bay detainees?

Because they're too cagey.

Director Jokes More Director Jokes

How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one more guys I promise.

Who is the director of the first wireless movie?

Christopher No-LAN

Refuse Jokes More Refuse Jokes

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".

Why did the woman refuse to pay for her Brazilian waxing?

A: Because it was a total rip-off.

Trust Jokes More Trust Jokes

Why can you never trust a car made in the Soviet Union?

They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin.

Why should you never trust a whale with your secrets?

They're huge blubbermouths.

Live Jokes More Live Jokes

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

What's the difference between a frog and a cat?

A cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why do need it at work?

It's all I do. "WHAT " I said, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.

What do Jaqen H'ghar from Game of Thrones and Christina Aguilera have in common?

They both know "what a girl wants" and "what a girl needs".

Weave Jokes More Weave Jokes

What did 50 cent's grandma say to him when he gave her a hand woven scarf for mother's day?

G u knit

Which Hollywood actress has made sure all sci-fi movies like alien; ghostbusters; avatar & chappie are "woven" together?

Sigourney "Weaver" :P