Insect Jokes

What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit?

He did gnat see that coming"

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What insect is the Wood Ant related to?

The Should Ant and the Could Ant.

Why won't you ever see an ant walk in a church?

They're insects. I'll show myself out.

Why don't ants go to church?

Because they are insects.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Which insect didn't play well in goal ?

The fumble bee !

What's your favourite kind of insect?

FLY, YOU FOOLS!

What insect runs away from everything ?

A flee !

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What insect is good at math?

A: An account-ant.

What insect does a neckbeard keep as a pet?

M'ladybug

What happened to the man who turned into an insect ?

He just beetled off !

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

Why was the insect kicked out of the wildlife preserve?

A: It was a litterbug.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

What insect can be spelled with just one letter?

Bee.

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ?

An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ?

The Masked-quito !

What do insects learn at school ?

Mothmatics !

Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey?

Because he wants to get from ayy to bee.

What lives in gum trees ?

Stick insects !

What do you call an insect with magical powers?

A spelling bee.

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?

An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.

What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance ?

A cricket ball !

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What do you call a Hungarian insect who won't leave siddhartha alone?

A Buddha-pest.

What did the Hungarian say to the annoying kid?

You're nothing budapest!"

Mate Season Jokes More Mate Season Jokes

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What do you call seagulls during mating season?

relationshipgulls

Dead Ant Jokes More Dead Ant Jokes

What did Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant....Dead Ant, Dead Ant, Dead Ant...

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

Why "Trojan" condoms?

Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out Less than stellar marketing.

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Cal Jokes More Cal Jokes

How do people in Nor Cal get around?

Hella copters

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other Ilene. What do you cal an Asian woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Irene

Pink Panther Jokes More Pink Panther Jokes

What did the Pink Panther say as he stepped on a bug?

Dead Ant, Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant Dead Ant, Dead AaaaaaaaaaAAAaaannt

What did the Pink Panther say after he sprayed raid on an anthill?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.*

Fruit Fly Jokes More Fruit Fly Jokes

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

Why a fruit doesn't walk?

Because fruit flies

Buddha Pest Jokes More Buddha Pest Jokes

What do you call a religious termite in Hungary?

Buddha-pest

What do you call a Hungarian insect who won't leave siddhartha alone?

A Buddha-pest.