Islamic Jokes

What does an Islamic magician say?

ALLAH KAZAM!

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How do Muslims laugh?

Muahahahamed Note: I don't have any prejudices against Islamic people.

Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

What do you call a skinny, Islamic cow?

A moo-slim.

What's an Islamic extremist's favorite baseball team?

The new york Jets

What do you call someone who just occasionally dabbles in a bit of Islamic fundamentalism?

A Wahhobbyist.

What do you do to an Islamic dog that barks too much?

Musl'im

Which is an Islamic trait?

A.heading B.heading C.heading

What would you call the Islamic State if they tried to take over Antarctica?

Ice-is I'll show myself out.

What are Islamic extremists favourite drink?

Smirnoff Isis

What happens when there are two Islamic terrorist identical brothers and one is way taller than the other?

The Twin Towers.

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What do you call an Islamic pilot?

A pilot, you racist.

Where does the Islamic botanist go to pray?

In the Mossque.

What do you call a beach where you go to shoot gorillas and break Islamic law?

Haram Bay

What do they call their mistresses in Islamic countries?

Haram Baes

Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings?

Syrian Mckellen

Why did the Islamic woman die when she fell into the ocean?

She thought to yell for help, but her husband was nowhere around to grant her permission to do so.

What do you call an Islamic cow?

A Mooslim

How did I clear papers of Islamic Studies?

Have faith, don't question.

What do you call an Islamic mosquito?

A 'mosque-ito'.

What does Islamic extremists and skydivers have in common?

they're both Paris shooters

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Gps Jokes More Gps Jokes

What do you call your GPS if it has the voice of Terry Crews?

Crews Control.

How is Islam like a GPS?

You may think you're on the right path, but if you follow it literally, you'll end up crashing into a building.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.

Why do you think you'd be a good fit at our firm?

GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING:

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

What's the difference between a stoner and a Muslim?

When stoners are smoking, they don't explode.

How do Muslims like their food served?

Allah Carte

Big Bang Jokes More Big Bang Jokes

What came before the Big Bang?

The Big Foreplay.

What religion believes in the Big Bang?

Islam.

Holocaust Jokes More Holocaust Jokes

Why are Holocaust jokes never clean?

Because they're full of Germans.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream?

The Holocaust.

Belief Jokes More Belief Jokes

What do you call the belief that one kind of shoe is better than another?

Shoepremacy.

What's the difference between feminism and Islam?

One is demonized by the actions and beliefs of a small minority. The other believes in the wage gap myth.

Crash Jokes More Crash Jokes

Why did some chemists go broke?

The bond market crashed.

What did one plane said to the other plane?

Can I crash at your place

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry we closed 18 seconds ago and I've just cashed up."

How many IT techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ticket closed: Forwarded to facilities.