Morning Wood Jokes

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

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Why is morning wood full of holes?

Because the woodpecker.

When does a Frenchman get his morning wood?

A bonne heure.

What's worse than morning wood?

Mourning wood

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What do you call a sad Ent?

Mourning wood.

What do you call a sad tree?

Mourning wood

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What's another name for a casket?

Mourning wood.

What did the necrophiliac have when his grandmother died?

Mourning wood

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Why was a missile looking for a job?

Because it got fired!

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

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Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

How do you get a tree pregnant?

With a woodpecker

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How does a Priest find a little boy in the woods?

Very exciting

How do you find your dog if he's lost in the woods ?

Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark !

Normal Jokes More Normal Jokes

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

What's the normal amount of hair to mail someone?

I feel like this is a lot of hair I'm mailing to someone

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What's a Lumberjack's favorite drink?

A lager

Why was the lumberjack executed?

He committed treeson.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

How is a man like a snowstorm?

A: You never know when he's coming how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.