Morning Wood Jokes

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

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Why is morning wood full of holes?

Because the woodpecker.

When does a Frenchman get his morning wood?

A bonne heure.

What's worse than morning wood?

Mourning wood

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Woodpecker Jokes More Woodpecker Jokes

What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ?

A headbanger !

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker ?

A bird that talks in morse code !

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

Why aren't cars made out of wood?

Because they wooden go.

How far can you run into the woods?

Halfway, any further and you're running out.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What is the distinction between a man that has had a vasectomy and one who hasn't?

I don't know, as far as I'm concerned there's not a vas deferens.

What's a priest's favorite X-men?

A-Men.

Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What does Tim Cook have for breakfast in the morning?

Not Apple Jacks

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why does Garfield hate Mondays?

He doesn't have a job.

What is the job of a gentleman pimp?

To Tally-hos!

Mourn Wood Jokes More Mourn Wood Jokes

What do necrophiliacs get at funerals?

Mourning wood.

What did the necrophiliac have when his grandmother died?

Mourning wood

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

What do you get when you shoot a Mexican golfer?

A hole in Juan

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?

He wanted to see the floor show !