Mourn Wood Jokes

What do you call an erection during a funeral?

Mourning wood!

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What do you call a sad tree?

Mourning wood

What do you call a tree that lost its family in a forrest fire?

Mourning wood

What do necrophiliacs get at funerals?

Mourning wood.

What do you call a sad Ent?

Mourning wood.

What did the necrophiliac have when his grandmother died?

Mourning wood

How do you spot a necrophiliac at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

What happens when a necrophiliac goes to a funeral?

He gets mourning wood.

What's another name for a casket?

Mourning wood.

What's worse than morning wood?

Mourning wood

What does a necrophiliac get at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

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Morning Wood Jokes More Morning Wood Jokes

Why is morning wood full of holes?

Because the woodpecker.

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between talking to your wife after you forgot something and a minefield?

You can actually get through the minefield alive.

What is the difference between a Mother and Wife?

One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What is the worst that can happen to an atheist caricaturist ?

To die as a martyr.

How long does it take a baby to die in the microwave?

I don't know, I lose track of time when I have an erection.

Necrophiliac Jokes More Necrophiliac Jokes

What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one

What's the difference between a necrophiliac and someone with a granny fetish?

A couple of weeks

Grandmother Jokes More Grandmother Jokes

What did the necrophiliac have when his grandmother died?

Mourning wood

What do people call their grandmother in India?

Naana

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

Why don't bananas snore?

Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

Casket Jokes More Casket Jokes

What did the casket say to the sick casket?

Are you coffin

What you hope someone might say about you when they approach your casket?

Hey, I think he moved.

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

How is called the funeral of an electrical engineer?

Grounding

What's the difference between saying sorry and apologizing?

You can say sorry at a funeral.