Neckbeard Jokes

What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick?

M'alady

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What do you call a city full of neckbeards?

M'tropolis

What do you call someone who commits piracy?

Neckbeard the pirate

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.

How does a neckbeard make a scotch egg?

He has to Breddit

What's a Neckbeard's favourite curry?

Chicken tikka m'sala

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

What did the neckbeard say when he was punched in the throat?

M'Larynx

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

Whats a Neckbeard's favorite city in Spain?

M'drid

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What is Reddit's favorite pirate?

Neckbeard

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

What do you call a dating app for neckbeards?

Tipper.

Who's a modern pirate for the 21st century?

Neckbeard!

What did the neckbeard say to the mosquito?

M'laria

What's a Neckbeards' favourite colour?

M'genta

What did the guy with a neckbeard say when he had to mail something twice?

REPOST!"

Why don't neckbeards hit on people with heart conditions?

Because people with heart conditions take beta-blockers.

What Greek tragedy was written by a neckbeard?

Tips fedora "M'dea."

What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend?

M'laundry."

What's the most common illness affecting neckbeards?

M'laise.

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When will you be bioavailable?

Because you are my drug and I want you in my body...

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

Disease Jokes More Disease Jokes

What disease did the house have?

Shingles.

What do you call a Spartan king with a disease?

Leonitis

Commit Jokes More Commit Jokes

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

What do you call a scam artist who uses his vocabulary to commit crimes?

A LexiCon

Tip Jokes More Tip Jokes

How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep?

Tip him for the pizza.

What do waiters want most after dinner?

The tip!

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you cross the band "The Knack" and a bottle of Corona?

A song called "My Corona"

What happens if you smoke weed in a musilm country?

Simple, you get stoned twice

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

What does a pirate call his idiot son?

A retarrrrrd

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!"

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

How do Asian's name their children?

Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*

What's it called when an Asian man gives his best friend head?

A bro job.

Chicken Jokes More Chicken Jokes

Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn?

The kernel was looking for him.

Why did the chicken droid NOT cross the road?

Because it had a bad motivator!