Partner Jokes

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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How do you get your partner to give you head?

Put them in a guillotine.

What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common?

We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed.

What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

When your partner asks how many people you have ever slept with, answering 'what did I say the last time you asked?

is unwise, apparently.

How to break up with someone- You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: which one?

You: MEEEEE BYEEEEEEEE

What did George Michael say to his partner before he went to work?

Wake me up before you go-go

What do you do if your partner starts smoking?

Slow down. Use lube.

What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner?

Sedimentary my dear Watson!

How do you know when you have a high sperm count?

Your partner has to chew before swallowing...

Which detective investigates electrical crimes?

Sherlock Ohms That's why his partner is called Wattson...

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How can you tell if your sperm count is high?

Your partner has to chew before they swallow.

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Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games?

An ex-boxer.

What's the difference between my ex and my toaster?

It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster.

Dairy Queen Jokes More Dairy Queen Jokes

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He didn't wrap his Whopper

What do I have to do to get a margarita around here?

And that's when I got kicked out of Dairy Queen.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What can you make and break at the same time?

A racket.

Which servant of Jehovah was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. Because he broke all 10 commandments at once.

Mcdonald Jokes More Mcdonald Jokes

What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Iowa?

Prom

How can you tell the clan of a Scotsman?

Look under his kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald.

George Michael Jokes More George Michael Jokes

What did Darth Vader say to Admiral Motti after browsing his collection of George Michael records?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing."

What's the difference between George Michael and Carrie Fisher?

Two days.

Theory Jokes More Theory Jokes

Why did did the convicts escape?

Billy Eichner has a theory... Billy Eichner says I bet those escaped convicts are going to see Ted 2.

How does traffic form?

My theory is that it is a Protozoa Plankton

Ronda Rousey Jokes More Ronda Rousey Jokes

How is a Bill Cosby better than Ronda Rousey?

He's never met a woman he hasn't knocked out.

What do I and Ronda Rousey have in common?

neither of us can last more than a minute :(

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs?

Matt

How's your head?

Don't reply with "No man has ever complained."