Quidditch Jokes

Why don't they let gansters play Quidditch?

Cause gangsters always catch the snitch!

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Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?

Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch

Why are there a lot of problem gamblers in the Harry Potter universe?

Because they have a quidditch.

How is prison like quidditch?

The game ends when they catch the snitch

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Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What scratches the window before it explodes?

A baby in a microwave

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why was Tigger always filthy?

Because he was playing with Pooh.

How is this joke similar to a musical about a thesaurus?

Both are a play on words.

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters?

Truth or Darren Wilson.

What do radical feminists and Game of Thrones have in common?

All men must die.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why did she get entry to the pub without paying a single penny?

Cause she being she, wasn't even worth a penny. (/hehheh)

Why is it not a good idea to tell your parents about your failures while they are on an elevator?

It would cause them to be disappointed on many different levels.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What's the biggest fish you ever caught?

That would be the one that measured fourteen inches...." "That's not so big!" "Between the eyes "

What did the dealer say to Ted when he caught him stealing heroin?

Your addicted.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out.

Who should get the cat?

I don't know...let's see who he loves the most" 3 weeks later Can you tell "Nope"

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette?

Tobaccio

What's the loudest thing in the last two Harry Potter films?

Deaf Lee's "HELLO!"