Saudi Arabia Jokes

What do you call an attractive primate corpse in Saudi Arabia?

Haram bae

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Why is Pokemon Go Banned in Saudi Arabia?

Because not all Pokemon know selfdestruct.

Whats Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom?

How I bought your mother

Why does Saudi Arabia have so much oil?

Because the women are not allowed to drive.

Why does Saudi Arabia import so many camels from Australia?

They've got to get their 72 virgins

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

What's the difference between America and Saudi Arabia?

You don't need a computer to play minesweeper in Saudi Arabia. (I'm not sorry)

Why are the people of Saudi Arabia always behind the times?

Because they live under Iraq.

What happens when you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

Who is the most hated actor in Saudi Arabia?

Shia Labeouf

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

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How do you call the guy who immigrates to Saudi Arabia?

Wannabee Wahhabi.

How would you rate USA and Saudi Arabia's relationship?

9/11

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How do the Lannisters save money on new beds?

They push Two twins together to make a King

Why is everyone tired of the king playing video poker on his porcelain throne?

A: Cause they're sick of all his royal flushes.

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How did realism get me banned from Facebook?

I sided with cancer on the "Kids VS Cancer" page.

Why did they ban Liquid Paper, White-Out, and all other correction fluids in Poland?

They were making the PC screens unusable.

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Why can't children watch pirate movies?

Because they're rated

How would you rate an average upholstery job upon completion?

Eh. Sew-sew.

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How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living?

By appearing in television spooktaculars.

Why were some people living in the 80s so healthy?

Because they had good high jeans

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Why is the time in the USA behind that of England ?

Because England was discovered before the USA !

What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the street?

Five after one.

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How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?

Never enough.

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

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What happens when a midget smokes weed?

He gets medium.

What do you call the guy you buy your weed from?

Your chron-tact.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

Bacon would go up!

What did the banana peel say when asked what happens after it's thrown into the compost pile?

IDK, i'm just a banana.