Seaweed Jokes

Why is the beach wet?

Cause the seaweed

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How do fish get high?

Seaweed

Why are oceans called "The High Seas"?

Because of all the seaweed!

What does a mermaid stoner smoke?

Seaweed.

Why are all the fish high?

Because of the seaweed. I've already shown myself out, don't worry.

How do you get high underwater?

seaweed! lol my friends 12 yr old daughter told us this one

Why was the sand wet?

Because the seaweed.

Why do some fish always look high?

Because of all the seaweed.

What did the seaweed say when it was in trouble?

Kelp me!

Why did the crab jump out of the water?

Because the SeaWeed..

Where did the seaweed... Where did the seaweed find a job?

In the "Kelp Wanted" section of the want-ads.

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What do you call it when you do papercrafts with seaweed?

Norigami.

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How much for this aggressive bottle of water?

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How do you make a sheep jump off a cliff?

Put a redneck behind it.

Why doesn't Mexico ever do well in the Olympics?

Because every mexican that can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if someone is having a stroke?

There is lotion and used tissues laying around

What sweetie?

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Why did the book join the police?

He wanted to work undercover.

Why did the kid with muscular dystrophy want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and a NASCAR driver when he grew up?

He had a lot of aspirations.

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Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?

Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.

What did one unemployed cancer cell say to the other unemployed cancer cell?

Let's get Jobs. Found in the comments of a post by

Beach Jokes More Beach Jokes

Where's is Shaq's appearance most terrifying?

On a beach near Boston.

How did Jesus get his beach bod for the summer?

Cross fit

12 Jokes More 12 Jokes

What has 12 breasts and 24 teeth?

The night shift at Waffle House.

How many seconds are in a year?

Only 12. One for every month.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

What do women call men who are shorter than 5'7"?

Friends