Stalk Jokes

Why was Jack scared?

Because Jack was bean stalked

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Why can't you tell a joke in a cornfield?

Because the stalks are all ears.

What do you call 1 black guy being stalked by 200 white guys?

PGA Tour.

Why did the plant cross the road?

Cus it was being stalked!

Why are farmers so wealthy?

Because their stalks are always growing.

Why should you avoid people dressed as celery?

They could be stalking you!

What is the definition of stalking?

When two people takes a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it

Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow?

Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!

Why did Jack cross the road?

Because he was bean stalked.....

What do you do in your free time?

I stalk. " "Really I go swimming and for long hikes" "I know.".

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Bean Jokes More Bean Jokes

Why did the man with an electric car think he had a dual exhaust?

He drank a lot of beer. He ate a lot of beans. *You love it.*

What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

A: Tear gas.

Ear Jokes More Ear Jokes

What's tall, white and has ears?

A mountain.

What does a blonde woman is doing with her ear bonded to the wall ?

Listening .

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What's the only thing that grows in Oakland?

A: The Crime Rate!

What does a triangular acorn say when it grows up?

Geometry.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did Dave Grohl buy such a tall house?

He wanted to make sure he was getting the best, the best, the best, the best-a view.

What Did Superman Tell Superwoman?

Do you want to be in my Crib Tonight (Kryptonite)

Farmer Jokes More Farmer Jokes

What did the field say to the farmer?

Plow Me!

How can you tell if a farmer is a good farmer?

He's out standing in his field

Pga Tour Jokes More Pga Tour Jokes

What do you call 500 old white guys chasing a black man with clubs?

The PGA tour.

What do you call 200 white men chasing a black man?

The PGA Tour.

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

Why was Game Of Thrones banned from twitter?

Because twitter has an 140 character limit.

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

Cus Jokes More Cus Jokes

Why was the smurf's hat blue?

Cus it was sad.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue on his coffee?

Cus he drank it before it was cool.