Traffic Jokes

Why did the chicken run out into traffic?

To get to the other side.

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Why is there only a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell?

Easy. More traffic is going to hell.

What do you call a deaf pokemon go player walking into traffic?

Anything you want they're not going to hear you.

What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?

Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!

What did the guy on LSD say while driving on the highway?

Woah, the traffic is moving.

What do you call traffic in The Czech Republic?

Praguetory

What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?

ANKH ANKH!!

What's the best thing about North Korea?

The traffic.

What do you call an Oyster who is stuck in traffic?

A: A PearlJam

Who is the brother of Juan Luna?

Edi si AnTWOnio Luna. Yeah yeah, the result of being stuck in the traffic. XD

What do cows do in traffic?

They moove

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How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

Why is it so difficult for women to find a man who is sensitive, caring, and good looking?

All of those guys already have boyfriends.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How many virgins does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one. But he will pull it back out and stick it back in again just to make sure hes got the right hole.

Why did the dentist divorce the manicurist?

She tried to stick her finger in his cavity.

Reaction Jokes More Reaction Jokes

Why didn't kids make fun of argon in high school?

They never got a reaction out of him.

Why did the chemist never say "NO" to anything?

Because the reaction could be explosive.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

What do rodents do after dinner?

Gopher a walk.

Hell Jokes More Hell Jokes

Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration?

Because it's a cold day in hell....

What the hell is going on here?

Wife turns to the man and says "Told you he was stupid."

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?

He became a vegetarian.

What's Anakin Skywalker's favorite animal?

Well, it was cats, originally, but then he was turned to the dog side.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you do if your computer hums?

Tell it to change its socsks!

What's the difference between a school teacher and a train?

A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, a train says choo choo.

Street Jokes More Street Jokes

Who let the boys out?

Me: Woof woof woof! Her: Who let the boys out ! Me: Woof woof woof! Her: KIDS ARE IN THE STREET! Me: I'm going..

Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?

A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk".