Valentine Day Jokes

Where did I take my pet Cow on Valentines Day?

To the Moooovies

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do single people call Valentine's Day?

Independence Day

What did the french chef give his wife on Valentine's day?

A hug and a little quiche.

What's the difference between the calendar and you?

A calendar has a date on Valentine's day.

How do single people honor valentine's day?

By Celibating!

Who sends flowers on Valentines Day?

Cupigs!

Why is Valentine's Day the best day for a celebration?

Because you can really party hearty!

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day?

I'm stuck on you!"

What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?

Let me call you Tweet heart!

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?

Rugs and kisses!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day?

Hog and kisses!

How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?

I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "

What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?

Forget-me-nuts.

What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Ughs and kisses!

What did the runaway melon say to the honeydew on Valentine's Day?

I cantaloupe.

What did the boy cat say to the girl cat on Valentine's Day?

You're purrr-fect for me!

What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine's Day?

Cauliflowers!

You might also enjoy:

Flower Jokes More Flower Jokes

Why do flowers and beer get along so well?

They're buds

Why do sailors give their wives a bouqet of ropes instead of flowers?

It's a bouqet of forget-me-knots.

Valentine Jokes More Valentine Jokes

What does an illustrator say to his girlfriend on Valentine ?

I'm font of you.

How to Skrillex sign his Valentine's Day cards?

I wub wub wub you....

Cupid Stunt Jokes More Cupid Stunt Jokes

What's the difference between radical feminists and a Valentine's Day mascot's tricks?

One's Cupid stunts...

What's the difference between Ann Coulter and shooting arrows at lovers?

Shooting arrows at lovers is a Cupid stunt.

Sweetie Jokes More Sweetie Jokes

What sweetie?

Tell who what ! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off..

Why should you send your sweetie a valentine?

Because you always heart the one you love.

Send Jokes More Send Jokes

How do you unite both the Catholics and Protestants in Ireland?

By sending in millions of Muslims

What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday?

Crimea a river

Doormat Jokes More Doormat Jokes

What is Pink and lies on the doormat?

Whitney Houston's Valentines Day Cards

How do you say doormat in Spanish?

Matador

Single People Jokes More Single People Jokes

How do single people honor valentine's day?

By Celibating!

Why do single people take dating advice from other single people?

That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What did the Wealth of Nations say to the Communist Manifesto to cheer it up?

Some day you will be red!

Why did people back in the day not accept left handed people?

Because it wasn't right. I'm sorry bye.