00 Jokes

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What's the difference between a green lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a green lentil on my face.

What's the difference between feminism and a $100 bill?

A $100 bill makes change

What's the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

I won't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?

There was a sin tax error. 8.5

What's the difference between a garbanzo and a chick pea?

I'm not spending $100 to have a garbanzo on my face.

What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

What do you call a circle of $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins! (Happy birthday to the Queen of Soul!)

Why did the crematorium operator get a $500 bonus?

Because he'd urn-ed it.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea?

Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

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Spud Lover Jokes More Spud Lover Jokes

What did the spud lover do before it went to bed?

A: It set its alarm for eight -- so it would get a potato clock.

Why did the spud lover set his alarm for 8:00?

Because he wanted to get a-po-ta-to clock. to make joke more apparent

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you call someone who randomly shows up and drinks your alcohol?

Bill Murray.

How did Bob loose his job at the sperm bank?

He was always drinking on the job

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

Why do you forget a tooth as soon as the dentist pulls it out?

Because it goes right out of your head.

Why do bees hum ?

Because they've forgotten the words !

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

Why does John Cena set his alarm at 1:59?

So he can kick out at 2.

What's the downside of being a redneck kid at Christmas?

You only get presents from one set of grandparents.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

Why isn't the Vice President running for the Democratic Nomination this year?

He's Biden his time.

How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver?

It's hard to keep track.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!"

How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

400 Jokes More 400 Jokes

How many volunteers do we have for the army?

384 sir" "okay round them up" "400 sir"

What is Nitrate?

Girl: My place, 250...your place 400!

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What did the Italian chef say when his boss tried to pick a fight?

You wanna pizza me !

What does it sound like when two churches fight?

Pew Pew PEWPEWPEW!!!