Ambulance Jokes

What do you call a journalist in Russia?

An ambulance.

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What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world?

An ambulance

What was the ambulance saying when they were carrying Satoru Iwata?

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What do you call a woman drowning in money?

Rich... Also an ambulance.

What do you call a man who jokes that women always make mountains out of molehills?

An ambulance.

Why did the ambulance show up to a tennis match between Number 8 and Number 9?

The umpire called it: nine won one.

What do you call a kid that stands up to bullies?

An ambulance.

What do you call a woman that doesn't make me a sandwich?

An ambulance.

What do you call a woman that won't make a sandwich?

An ambulance.

What do you call a white man in a ghetto?

An ambulance.

What do you call a black guy who was stabbed by a Mexican?

An ambulance.

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How did the lawyer chip his tooth?

The ambulance slammed on its brakes.

What do you call a man with a shovel stuck in his head?

An ambulance because that is a serious medical emergency that requires immediate attention.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby?

A pizza doesn't scream when you break it in 8.

How did Kim Kardashian break the net?

She sat on it.

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What was the ambulance saying when they were carrying Satoru Iwata?

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What did they say when they forgot to embalm Satoru Iwata?

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Why are so many Koreans named Park?

Because the ones named Drive all died in crashes.

When is the only time you can park like a retard?

In a handicapped spot.

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What's the only thing politicians stand for?

Reelection.

Why didn't the dog play cards on his ocean cruise?

Because the captain stood on the deck.

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What do you call a skydiving tonsil who's afraid that something bad might happen?

Paranoid!

What's this payment?

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How many Sand People does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

No one knows. They ride single file to hide their numbers.

Which country has the most number of bacteria, viruses, fungus and other micro-organisms?

GerMany

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What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

What's the difference between rock and jazz?

Rock is playing three chords for a thousand people. Jazz is playing a thousand chords for three people.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why are cars in Russia so slow?

Because they are always stalin.

Why can't you have military coup in Russia?

Because in Russia the military coups you.