Kidnap Jokes

How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb?

The parents would love to know.

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What do you call a Santa Claus who kidnaps people?

Santa Clown

What does an elephant say when it kidnaps someone?

Get in the trunk"

What is worse than being kidnapped by the Talibans?

Being rescued by the Americans

What did the Chili's waitress say about her kidnapped daughter?

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.

What does the Pope Jean-Paul 2 and the little girl kidnapped by Boko Haram have in common?

The pope died a virgin

How do you upset a plumber?

Kidnap his princess.

Why did the kidnapped clock always read 12:00?

His hands were tied.

What's it called when you kidnap a ghost?

A Polter-Heist

What do you call a computer programmer that likes to kidnap children?

A PDFile.

What do you call a duck being kidnapped?

An abduction. I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door.

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Why are Nordic women so beautiful?

Answer: Well, the Vikings didn't kidnap the ugly ones...

How many polaks does it take to kidnap a child?

A: 12. One to kidnap the child and the remaining 11 to write a ransom letter.

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok, he woke up.

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Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What kind of papers do dogs write?

A ruff draft.

What do Lady Gaga and E. L. James have in common?

They both wrote bad romance.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What did the woman say while she was having a baby?

This could use some salt."

What's scarier then ten babies in one jar?

A: One baby in ten jars How do you got a baby in a container A: blend it.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

A: They're intended for children but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

What's the difference between parents who don't vaccinate their children and ISIS?

One is a group made up of radicals with extremist views. And the other group is ISIS.

Baghdad Jokes More Baghdad Jokes

What is the process for a terrorist kidnapping?

Well, first Demascus, then they Baghdad!

What did they say about Baghdad after they installed too many garbage cans?

It was Bin Laden

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

Why can't Chinese people tie their shoes?

I would love to tell you, but I am afraid the answer is a little bit lacist.

How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

Ghost Jokes More Ghost Jokes

Why is a ghost like an empty house?

Because there's no body there!

What do ghosts use to phone home?

A terror-phone.

11 Jokes More 11 Jokes

How many teenage girls does it take to change a lightbulb?

11. 1 to change the lightbulb & 10 to take 200 photos of it & clog my newsfeed.

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, " ....I'll leave now.

Rescue Jokes More Rescue Jokes

What's the difference between a caver and a spelunker?

A caver rescues a spelunker.

What is worse than being kidnapped by the Talibans?

Being rescued by the Americans