Kidnap Jokes

How many kidnapped children does it take to change a lightbulb?

The parents would love to know.

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What do you call a Santa Claus who kidnaps people?

Santa Clown

What does an elephant say when it kidnaps someone?

Get in the trunk"

What is worse than being kidnapped by the Talibans?

Being rescued by the Americans

What did the Chili's waitress say about her kidnapped daughter?

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back.

What does the Pope Jean-Paul 2 and the little girl kidnapped by Boko Haram have in common?

The pope died a virgin

How do you upset a plumber?

Kidnap his princess.

Why did the kidnapped clock always read 12:00?

His hands were tied.

What's it called when you kidnap a ghost?

A Polter-Heist

What do you call a computer programmer that likes to kidnap children?

A PDFile.

What do you call a duck being kidnapped?

An abduction. I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door.

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Why are Nordic women so beautiful?

Answer: Well, the Vikings didn't kidnap the ugly ones...

How many polaks does it take to kidnap a child?

A: 12. One to kidnap the child and the remaining 11 to write a ransom letter.

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

What happend to the guys who kidnapped Batman?

They got Bale.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's ok, he woke up.

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Princess Jokes More Princess Jokes

What do you call a man whose wife was the Queen, his daughter a Princess and his boss an Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

What do Super Mario Brothers, and relationships have in common?

Sometimes you have to slay a few dragons before you get to the princess

Pope Jokes More Pope Jokes

How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb None, Lutherans don't change.

What do you call the pope after a drive by?

Your holiness"

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What do you do to an elephant with 3 balls?

Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

Why do elephants wear green shoes?

So they can sneak across pool tables. Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table? Works, doesn't it?

Baghdad Jokes More Baghdad Jokes

What is the process for a terrorist kidnapping?

Well, first Demascus, then they Baghdad!

What did they say about Baghdad after they installed too many garbage cans?

It was Bin Laden

Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What is the difference between a Muslim baby and a Christian baby?

Their parents.

Whos there?

Yoda lady. Yoda lady who Good job yodeling! 2.Knock knock. Whos there Well, not your parents, because your parents never knock!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did the rich socialite's parrot say?

Polly want a cracker with cavier please!

Why did the black guy wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?

If he was going to be impotent he wanted to look impotent.

Pdfile Jokes More Pdfile Jokes

What do you call a guy who likes Adobe and little boys?

a PDFile

What do you call a computer programmer that likes to kidnap children?

A PDFile.

Taliban Jokes More Taliban Jokes

How do you play Taliban bingo?

B-52...F-16...B-1..

What's the difference between a taliban outpost and an Afghani Elementary school?

I don't know, I just fly the drones