Martial Art Jokes

What do you call a grandma that know martial arts?

A grandmartial artist. I apologise for any lost brain cells.

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What is a vegetable's favorite martial art?

He can't do martial art because he is paralyzed tip to toe.

What's the difference between Karate and Judo?

Karate is a martial art and Judo is used to make bagels.

What do call a potato that knows martial arts?

Jacket Chan

What martial art do cows practice?

Moo-thai.

Why does the bad guy always have to know some form of martial art?

Why cant they just throw stuff while screaming "stay away from me!"

What kind of martial arts do birds practice?

Wing Chun

What do you call martial arts for cows?

Mooey Thai.

What do you call a seagull that knows martial arts?

A: Steven Seagull

What do challah and martial arts have in common?

Judo

What kind of martial art does a chef do?

Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)

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Santa knows to stop after three Ho's.

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They are looking at your shoes, rather than their own.

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How many tickles does a Japanese school girl want?

Tentickles.

What is a Japanese favourite beverage that they don't remember?

Affogato"

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Why don't you buy drugs from an Emo?

Their stuff is always cut.

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a hummus-sectional ba dum tish! I know that was bad. Please blame my boyfriend, he thought of it.

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What does Mr. Miyagi do when he gets home from a date?

He wax off

What does Mr. Miyagi do during his alone time?

Whacks on, whacks off.

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What do you get if you cross a bird with a monstrous snarl?

A budgerigrrrrr!

What kind of bird works on a construction site?

A Crane.

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Why couldn't Jesus play marbles?

Because they kept falling through his hands.

Why did Jesus hang on the cross for three days?

He forgot the safe word.

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

Why is the US so much better at the accurate placement of round objects than Japan?

We had two practices in 1945

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.