Practice Jokes

What is an umbrella doing in the shower?

Practicing

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What is Serena Williams' favorite time to practice?

Tennish

What move does the karate kid practice the most?

He wax off everyday

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

What do you call a dinosaur that practices Islam?

A Quranosaurus.

Why is the US so much better at the accurate placement of round objects than Japan?

We had two practices in 1945

What do you call Triple H practicing for a WWE match?

Preparation H

What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception?

Parents.

What religion do ghosts practice?

Boo-ddhism

What is your preferred type of birth control?

Well, its not preferred, but I practice abstinence."

How do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

Because they both "practice" their professions.

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What martial art do cows practice?

Moo-thai.

Why do blondes always drink with straws?

A: Practice.

What did God say after she made Eve?

Practice makes perfect."

What kind of martial arts do birds practice?

Wing Chun

What do Catholics and guitar players have in common?

Neither of them practice.

Why do geologists have children with birth defects?

Because they practice relative dating!

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

Why are emo people so good at ping-pong?

Because they are well practiced in cutting.

What type of fighting technique do amputees practice?

Partial arts.

Why do little boys whine?

Because they're practicing to be men.

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope?

He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

What type music should you practice before doing something dangerous?

Safety measures.

What do you call an arab who wants to be European yet keeps practicing his beloved religion, islam?

A turk.

Why would a Catholic priest start practicing at a prison?

He ran out of little boys

Why was the Sublime cover band so bad?

They don't practice Santeria.

Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones?

Because they should use protection to practice safe text

Where do religious school children practice sports?

In the prayground!

Whats the most important aspect of gun safety to practice around a feminist?

Trigger discipline

Why did the music student have a piano in the bathroom?

Because he was practicing Handel's Water Music.

What is the name of the martial arts discipline that the anime girl that you are in love with practices?

Wai fu.

What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking?

There's no place like OM.

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What's the difference between US Politics and WWE?

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How did the thermal imaging camera warn the mountain-climber?

Isee cold."

What do you get when you cross a mountain-climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can't cross a scaler with a vector.

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Why aren't there any black magicians?

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What do you call a dog who can do magic?

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What kind of music do welders like?

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What kind of mint is the hardest to swallow?

Abandonment.

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Why don't dirty commies shower?

Because they don't want to wash away their Marx.

Why can't you take a shower with a pokemon?

Cause they'll Pikachu

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What does a feminist pick up from the post office?

Their femail

What two words have thousands of letters in them?

Post office.

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What do you call a stock market crash in Japan?

The "My Yen" Apocalypse

What did Japan say when it heard the US had an atomic bomb?

Did you make that Fermi?

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What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

Why is it bad to mix Islam and Hinduism?

Because you might get Sikh