Beef Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

What do chicken, beef and Russia have in common?

They are all against Turkey

What do you call a Knight that cuts beef?

Sir Loin.

What was the beef doing as he watched the salad dressing?

Stroganoff

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger?

It had beef.

What does Chick-fil-A and their CEO have in common?

Both hate when people stick beef between two buns.

Why don't Hindu rappers have battle raps?

Because they got no beef.

What do you call beef that's been burned?

A mis-steak.

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What did the mad cow say to the other cow?

You don't want beef with me

What do you call a mother who is overweight and poor?

Beef on WIC

What did the cow say to the slaughterhouse worker?

You want some beef

What do you call a woman made out of beef?

Patty

What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef?

FILET MIGNON!**

Why is the beef in Colorado so good?

Because the steaks are high.

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?

A: He has got no beef.

What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

Who's there ! Beef ! Beef who ?

Beef fair now !

What do you call cow without a girlfriend?

Beef Stroken off

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?

Because it's not stroganoff.

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What's the do a girlfriend and an ice cream cone have in common?

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What did capital 'O' say to capital 'Q'?

Hey, put that thing back in your trousers!"

What's the difference between O and Q?

One had to P.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

What's a hippies favourite food?

Peas, man.

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Why are your eyes dilated?

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What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

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Why don't cows simply run away from their farms?

Because they don't have enough sta**moo**na

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away.

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Why sugars are very unhappy these days?

It is sweet but still is not getting added do any thing!

What's a dentists favorite time of day?

Tooth-Hurty

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What did the earthquake say to all of its victims?

Oh, sorry...my fault.

Where is the safest place to be during an earthquake?

A: a hot air balloon #JonsSafetyTips #Safety #safetyTip #EarthquakeSafetyFacts

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How does Twitch (Streaming Site) Chat make money?

Kappatalism!

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef