Beef Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

What do chicken, beef and Russia have in common?

They are all against Turkey

What do you call a Knight that cuts beef?

Sir Loin.

What was the beef doing as he watched the salad dressing?

Stroganoff

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger?

It had beef.

What does Chick-fil-A and their CEO have in common?

Both hate when people stick beef between two buns.

Why don't Hindu rappers have battle raps?

Because they got no beef.

What do you call beef that's been burned?

A mis-steak.

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What did the mad cow say to the other cow?

You don't want beef with me

What do you call a mother who is overweight and poor?

Beef on WIC

What did the cow say to the slaughterhouse worker?

You want some beef

What do you call a woman made out of beef?

Patty

What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef?

FILET MIGNON!**

Why is the beef in Colorado so good?

Because the steaks are high.

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?

A: He has got no beef.

What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

Who's there ! Beef ! Beef who ?

Beef fair now !

What do you call cow without a girlfriend?

Beef Stroken off

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?

Because it's not stroganoff.

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3 Leg Jokes More 3 Leg Jokes

Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs?

The cow has the udder.

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

my girlfriend who's a high school teacher heard this from a student the other day) Q: What do you call a cow with 3 legs? A: Lean Beef Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Ground Beef Q: What do you call a cow with 2 legs? A: Your mom

Roast Jokes More Roast Jokes

Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave?

Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven.

What's the water polo team's favorite song?

Smoke on the Water, because they are always getting roasted. :3

Pea Soup Jokes More Pea Soup Jokes

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.

Whats the difference between Mashed Potatoes and Pea Soup?

Anyone can mash potatoes!

Cow Jokes More Cow Jokes

Where do Cows go for parties?

The Moovies

What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?

A bullfighter!

Ground Beef Jokes More Ground Beef Jokes

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef!

What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?

Ground Beef

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

Why is it so difficult to call Chinese people?

There's so many wings it's easy to wing the wong number.

What has two wings and a halo?

A Chinese phone. Wing wing, hallo?

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How do you manage to stay in shape?

Witch 2: "I get a lot of hexercise."

Why does AMD call having 2 or more cards Crossfire?

Because no matter what card you cross, and how many, you're bound to start a fire.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

What did little Paul Bunyan say when his mom asked him how he damaged his favorite toy?

It was an ax-I-dent.

How are neutrinos and i alike?

Were both constantly penetrating your mom