Mike Tyson Jokes

What does Mike Tyson do after 10pm?

He thlides into your DMth.

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What is Mike Tyson's favorite song?

Down With The Thickness.

Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

What did Mike Tyson say to the boy who gave him a bouquet at his final boxing match?

Tysssonssss

How does Mike Tyson get smarter?

By taking a math gainer.

What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms?

Whatever you want

How does Mike Tyson track Will Smith in the snow?

He looks for fresh prints.

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and the iPhone 4s?

There are no videos of Mike Tyson.

Why doesn't Mike Tyson play the Playstation?

Because he's an Xboxer.

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad?

That's methed-up!

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Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What is Mike Tyson's favorite thing for a woman to wear?

Thort thorts.

What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common?

They both go down for the count!!

What's Mike Tyson's favorite Scarlett Johansson film?

Luthy.

What's got four legs and no ears?

A: Mike Tyson's dog.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs?

Methed up

What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?

A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!

What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjolnir all day?

He gets thor arms!

What do you get when you mix a black man with microwave chicken?

May be offensive) Mike Tyson

What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common?

They're both Christmith Thongs.

How do you think the unthinkable ?

With an itheberg." - Mike Tyson

How does Mike Tyson say hatred?

Hate Thread!

What is Fee Fie Foe Fum Fum Foe Fie Fee?

Mike Tyson's inmate number.

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?

That's growth.

Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

Because he is an x-boxer

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Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

What do you call someone who is always disagreeing with their calculator?

A chronic math debater

Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How many NRA members does it take to stop a 6-year-old paraplegic from stealing a candy bar?

Nobody knows - they usually lose count at 800 rounds.

How do you keep a blonde busy for years?

Tell her to count the stairs on an escalator.

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why are Trees never invited to a formal dinner ?

They only wear Trunks.

Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What kinds of clothes do protons wear?

Plus sizes!

Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear ?

Because they have electric 'eels !

Dracula Girlfriend Jokes More Dracula Girlfriend Jokes

What is Dracula's girlfriend called when she gives him head?

Down for the count!

What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common?

They both go down for the count!!

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call a girl who plays tennis on her knees?

Courtney.

What do you call a Steer playing with itself?

Beef Stroganoff

Video Jokes More Video Jokes

What do you call a physicist who makes lets play videos?

Quarkiplier

What do you call a potato who puts videos online?

A Youtuber

Break Bad Jokes More Break Bad Jokes

Why were Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul so good in Breaking Bad?

They were meth-od acting.

How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad?

None, they were all minerals.