Mike Tyson Jokes

What does Mike Tyson do after 10pm?

He thlides into your DMth.

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What is Mike Tyson's favorite song?

Down With The Thickness.

Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

What did Mike Tyson say to the boy who gave him a bouquet at his final boxing match?

Tysssonssss

How does Mike Tyson get smarter?

By taking a math gainer.

What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms?

Whatever you want

How does Mike Tyson track Will Smith in the snow?

He looks for fresh prints.

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and the iPhone 4s?

There are no videos of Mike Tyson.

Why doesn't Mike Tyson play the Playstation?

Because he's an Xboxer.

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad?

That's methed-up!

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Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What is Mike Tyson's favorite thing for a woman to wear?

Thort thorts.

What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common?

They both go down for the count!!

What's Mike Tyson's favorite Scarlett Johansson film?

Luthy.

What's got four legs and no ears?

A: Mike Tyson's dog.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs?

Methed up

What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?

A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!

What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjolnir all day?

He gets thor arms!

What do you get when you mix a black man with microwave chicken?

May be offensive) Mike Tyson

What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common?

They're both Christmith Thongs.

How do you think the unthinkable ?

With an itheberg." - Mike Tyson

How does Mike Tyson say hatred?

Hate Thread!

What is Fee Fie Foe Fum Fum Foe Fie Fee?

Mike Tyson's inmate number.

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?

That's growth.

Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

Because he is an x-boxer

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on your doorstep?

Mat

How much did the cannibal pay for his new sports car?

I don't know but I heard it cost him an arm and a leg.

Break Bad Jokes More Break Bad Jokes

Why were Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul so good in Breaking Bad?

They were meth-od acting.

How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad?

None, they were all minerals.

Bill Cosby Jokes More Bill Cosby Jokes

What does Bill Cosby have in common with Ninjas?

Their victims never see them coming.

Why did Bill Cosby go to Japan with a bag of roofies?

He had Jello fever!

Groom Jokes More Groom Jokes

What's the difference between a horse and a 13 year old boy?

The horse knows when I'm grooming him.

What do you mean ?

Well she turned up the Minster turned up but the groom didn't !

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a kid with no arms and legs playing baseball?

2nd base.

What did people call Putin after he lost an arm?

Amputin

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What does a chauvinistic doctor use as a general term for women with high cholesterol?

A Broad Stroke...

What do you say to a woman with a black eye?

Nothing. She's already been told.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs?

Matt

What did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine...?

I heard that he was fully re-covered.

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What did the man say when the calculator agreed to help him load the car?

I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU