Mike Tyson Jokes

What does Mike Tyson do after 10pm?

He thlides into your DMth.

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What is Mike Tyson's favorite song?

Down With The Thickness.

Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

What did Mike Tyson say to the boy who gave him a bouquet at his final boxing match?

Tysssonssss

How does Mike Tyson get smarter?

By taking a math gainer.

What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

What do you call Mike Tyson without any arms?

Whatever you want

How does Mike Tyson track Will Smith in the snow?

He looks for fresh prints.

What's the difference between Mike Tyson and the iPhone 4s?

There are no videos of Mike Tyson.

Why doesn't Mike Tyson play the Playstation?

Because he's an Xboxer.

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad?

That's methed-up!

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Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church?

He was invited to thunday math.

What is Mike Tyson's favorite thing for a woman to wear?

Thort thorts.

What do Dracula's girlfriend and Mike Tyson have in common?

They both go down for the count!!

What's Mike Tyson's favorite Scarlett Johansson film?

Luthy.

What's got four legs and no ears?

A: Mike Tyson's dog.

What did Mike Tyson ask the really tired Norse god?

Are you Thor

What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs?

Methed up

What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?

A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!

What happens if Mike Tyson carries around Mjolnir all day?

He gets thor arms!

What do you get when you mix a black man with microwave chicken?

May be offensive) Mike Tyson

What do "Jingle Bells" sung by Mike Tyson and a green and red g-string have in common?

They're both Christmith Thongs.

How do you think the unthinkable ?

With an itheberg." - Mike Tyson

How does Mike Tyson say hatred?

Hate Thread!

What is Fee Fie Foe Fum Fum Foe Fie Fee?

Mike Tyson's inmate number.

What did Mike Tyson say when asked about the time he fought the God of Asgard?

The loser was 'thore'"

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?

That's growth.

Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

Why does Mike Tyson refuse to buy playstation ?

Because he is an x-boxer

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A: Pretty good

What kind of car does Bill Cosby drive?

A Honda quaalude. (Credit to my girlfriend)

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What do you call a potato who puts videos online?

A Youtuber

What do you call a physicist who makes lets play videos?

Quarkiplier

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What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

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What's worse than a white guy walking into a church andshooting 9 black people?

He let the others get away... I feel I'll be downvoted to hell for this...

What kind of church does a triangle attend?

Anglican.

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

Why did Jill fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms. Why did she not get back up? Because she had no legs. What did Jill get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Why did the dog roll down the hill?

It didn t have any legs.

Methe Jokes More Methe Jokes

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad?

That's methed-up!

What do you call Mike Tyson on drugs?

Methed up

Smith Jokes More Smith Jokes

Why are there so many Smiths in the phonebook?

Because they all own telephones

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?

Cause they all have phones!

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What do Americans do immediately after winning the World Cup (Soccer)?

Turn off the Playstation.

What happens when your favorite team wins the World Cup?

You turn off your playstation.