Promise Jokes

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What do you call a promise you can't keep?

A campaign promise.

Why was Wycleff Jean on L&O this week?

He only promised to be gone until November

What is it good for?

Some people say "nothing", but my stock portfolio's looking promising.

What did the CN tower say to the clouds???

Only the tip baby, I promise!

Why is a reflection always twice as good as the real thing?

i actually don't know where to post this idea, true jokes maybe?... There has to be a food for thought sub. This is your OP, I promise to deliver!

What happens when Nigel Farage makes a promise?

He brexit.

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Just one more guys I promise.

Where's the election victory that you promised me?

Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had

What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas?

A: Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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Why did a pregnant lady walk into Jimmy Johns?

They promised freaky fast delivery

What do you call a black guy who reneges on a promise?

Unreliable, you racist prick.

How many Bill Clintons does it take to change a lightbulb?

None--He'll only promise "change."

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why is there a fence around the graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

What do you call a water gun that gets people really excited?

A super stoaker

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What do you get when 1000 politicians have an idea?

A dim light.

What appears over black man's head when he has an idea?

A fried Chicken leg

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

How many countries does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Five. Germany to start it, France to try and then give up almost immediately, Italy to start, give up, and try again from the other side, America to finish it and claim credit for the whole thing, and Switzerland to sit in the dark and pretend that nothing happened.

What happened when Billy Mays's ghost floated into the rave?

Everyone started partying like it was $19.99.

Deliver Jokes More Deliver Jokes

What does a Obstetrician and a well written joke have in common?

They deliver

Who is a Project Manager?

Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.

Sean Murray Jokes More Sean Murray Jokes

What did EA give Sean Murray for a parting gift upon leaving EA?

Game dev lessons.

What do you call someone who promises change but ends up burning millions of undesirables?

Sean Murray and PS4 users

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why do Pokemon have eyes?

So they can pikachu

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to spin the ladder."

Why don't Americans like their dollar coin?

They're afraid of change.

Satan Jokes More Satan Jokes

What internet provider does Satan use in hell?

Comcast

Why did Satan need life alert?

Because he had fallen, and could not get back up.