Purchase Jokes

What did the obese man say about the belt he'd recently purchased?

Top notch.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

How is food purchased an an Irish grocery?

You buy it per-tater

Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party?

Because they were 50% off!

What does Harry Potter say after he purchases slaves?

I expect to Potter-own 'em.

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

What did the duck say to the cashier after she purchased some lipstick?

Just put it on my bill"

What car is so cheap that anyone could purchase it?

A Ford.

What do you call the study of the purchase of tree parts?

A: Stem sell research.

What did the photocopier say about its favorite purchased song?

That's my pay-per jam.

Why didn't the vampire purchase the expensive suit?

He just couldn't ever see himself wearing it.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

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Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of phone does The Flash use?

Not an iPhone because Apple doesn't support flash

What kind of Dog does Homer Simpson have?

A DOH-berman!

Irish Jokes More Irish Jokes

Why is Irish bean soup made with 239 beans?

Because if you add even one more it gets "2 farty".

What's in an Irish 7 course meal?

A 6 pack and a potato.

Study Jokes More Study Jokes

How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?

A: Studying their Miranda Rights.

What did the jihadist do when he forgot to study?

He bombed the exam.

Photocopier Jokes More Photocopier Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Wurlitzer and a photocopier?

A: A reproductive organ.

What did the photocopier say about its favorite purchased song?

That's my pay-per jam.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Where does Fonzie like to go for lunch?

Chick-Fil-Eyyyyyyyy.

Why didn't the monk sell his temple?

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What does a half-dressed Sikh wear on his head?

A subturban!

What do ghosts wear?

Boo Jeans

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

What's the best time of day?

The Spanish Inquisition. . . . . . Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is?

Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss!

50 Jokes More 50 Jokes

What book does the Queen of England read to get herself into a raunchy mood?

50 Shades of Earl Grey

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I wouldn't pay 50 to have a lentil on my face...