Surprise Jokes

Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

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How do you surprise Helen Keller?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

What did the Sewage Worker say to his apprentice?

Urine for a surprise.

Why is it impossible to surprise a snowman?

He has ice in the back of his head. Get it He has ice in the back of his head. Get it

How do you surprise a blind man?

Stick a plunger in the toilet

What's big, grey and makes you jump?

The elephant of surprise. :)

What do you call it when an author catches you off guard with innuendo?

Surprise subtext.

What did R. Kelly say to the teenage girl fan?

Urine for a surprise.

What's the definition of a surprise?

A fart with a lump in it

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

Why didn't you give me anything for my birthday?

GirlFriend: You told me to surprise you.

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Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What kind of jokes does a zombie make?

Dad jokes.

What do you call jokes about bread?

buns

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why did the brothel run out of money?

Why did the brothel run out of money? Because all of the investors pulled out.

What do a burnt pizza and a pregnant woman have in common?

The guy didn't pull it out fast enough!

Tech Jokes More Tech Jokes

How many IT support techs does it take to change a lightbulb?

have you tried turning the light off and back on?"

What's the most surprising advancement in tech?

Headphone jacks are obsolete.

Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many Biology undergrads does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.

How many dead memes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Twenty-one.

India Jokes More India Jokes

Why US didn't attack India, after twin-tower incident, looking for terrorists ?

Because it didn't happen in 7/11

What do they call divorce in India?

Re-arranged marriage

Toilet Jokes More Toilet Jokes

What is brown and sits in a toilet in a dutch attic?

The diarrhea of Anne Frank.

What is the worst thing anyone can do to a blind man?

Leave a plunger in the toilet!

Urine Jokes More Urine Jokes

What did the swollen prostate say during the prostatectomy?

I'm out, urine.

What did R. Kelly say to the teenage girl fan?

Urine for a surprise.

Isaac Newton Jokes More Isaac Newton Jokes

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

Why is there no Asian Isaac Newton?

He sat under the durian tree.