Afternoon Jokes

Why doesn't a sociologist look out the window in the morning?

Because then they'd have nothing to do in the afternoon.

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Why did the black man go to the golf-club on Sunday afternoon?

Because he had a membership.

Why were you late?

Pupil: Sorry teacher I overslept. Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!

Why don't Deputy Fire Marshals look out the window in the morning?

A: So they have something to do in the afternoon.

What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?

They go on peck-nics !

What has four limbs in the morning, two limbs in the afternoon, and is dead by evening?

A disobedient slave.

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

What's white in the morning, white in the afternoon and white in the evening?

An Irishman trying to get a tan.

Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?

That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees.

What do you get when you spend all afternoon replying to your anonymous feedback on Corpell Anonymous Box?

Corpell tunnel syndrome

Why did the astronomer hit himself on the head in the afternoon?

He wanted to see stars during the day.

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Why do heroine addicts rarely have meetings late in the afternoon?

Because it's dangerous to shoot for 3 or even 4.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the cautious gambler never go camping?

He didn't want to stake his tent.

How many sycophants does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

How many do you want?

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

What do you call a pig with the flu?

A swine swine.

What is a pigs favourite ballet?

Swine Lake!

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What does Ellen Pao have in common with the girl's mom from 'The Sixth Sense'?

The both have no idea why everyone stopped talking and just stared at her.

How do you stop your dog digging holes in your garden?

By hiding the shovel in the shed/garage

Pupil Jokes More Pupil Jokes

Where is the English Channel ?

Pupil: I don't know my TV doesn't pick it up

What is Ba + Na2?

Pupil: Banana.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked?

Because Jesus WEPt.

Why did Jesus die on the cross?

he forgot the safe word

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why is it so hard for an eighty year old woman to pee in the morning?

Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?!

What did the bartender say to the girl that tried to steal a drink?

It was worth a shot.

Sorry Teacher Jokes More Sorry Teacher Jokes

Why were you late?

Pupil: Sorry teacher I overslept. Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!

Why were you late ?

Sorry teacher I overslept. You mean you need to sleep at home too !

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

Why did the black man have to sell his parrot?

because polly wanted a cracker

Why was the black man selling drugs?

He was a pharmacist.