Alzheimer Patient Jokes

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

Why won't the Alzheimer's patient pay attention to you?

Because he doesn't know the time of day.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

to get to the other side

What does an Alzheimer's patient say whenever they browse /r/funny?

Hey, this looks new!"

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!

How does an Alzheimer's patient celebrate New Years?

Kissing strangers.

Who, what, when, where and why?

English teachers and Alzheimer's patients

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side!

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side!

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

to get to the other side

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Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Why did the capacitor kiss the diode?

He just couldn't resistor.......

Celebrate Jokes More Celebrate Jokes

Why don't Jehovah's Witnesses celebrate Halloween?

Because they don't appreciate random people knocking on their door.

How do scientists celebrate Pirate Day?

They get their Aaargh-On!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why does the KKK like christmas?

Because it's the one day that they have an excuse to hang coloured balls from trees.

Why can't you trust girls?

because you can't trust something that bleeds for days and doesn't die.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many philosophers does it take to... ...change a light bulb?

Define "light bulb".

How many auditors does it take to change a light bulb?

How many did it take last year

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

When did the Chinese man know it was time to go to the dentist?

Tooth hurty

Who is a battery manufacturer's favorite baseball player of all time?

Al Kaline.

English Jokes More English Jokes

How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one ?

By her suntan !

Whats the difference between English Breakfast and Irish Breakfast tea?

One is still in the EU.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why's everyone so afraid of clowns?

Well.. You know what they say about big feet.

How much does a birdhouse cost?

I don't know the exact price but I know they're pretty cheep

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?

A. Bingo!

What's the definition of divorce?

The screwing you get for the screwing you got!